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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24530011">Save Me, Too</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Its_me_Natalia/pseuds/Its_me_Natalia'>Its_me_Natalia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Undertale (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alpha Timeline, Author needs help with tags, Blood and Gore, Depression, F/M, Healers, Humans are mages, Magic, Mentions of Suicide, Oppression, Opressi, Original Character Death(s), Other, PTSD, Polyamory, Racism, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader has a few mental struggles, Reader is extremely strong (mentally), Self Harm, Skeleton Pile, Slight trigger warnings, Trauma, Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Underswap Sans (Undertale), Undertale Alternate Universe, Undertale Monsters on the Surface, War, Will add more tags as I go along, Worldbuilding, kinda angsty?, lots of love, pacifist, reader has anxiety, romantic, this work is dedicated to one of my fave authors on here, y’all are gonna love this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:41:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>23,118</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24530011</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Its_me_Natalia/pseuds/Its_me_Natalia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(NOTE: THIS WORK IS ON TEMPORARY HIATUS - UNKNOWN WHEN I WILL FINISH IT - SORRY!)</p><p>Monsters have returned to the surface, and with it, a whole new host of problems.</p><p> The human mages are making a comeback, too. The monsters seem to have triggered something in the SOULs of certain humans.</p><p> Of course, one of those humans just had to be you.</p><p> Now, you are faced with a world of oppression. A world where you are punished for the sins of your ancestors. A world where your kind is spat on.</p><p> It’s just your luck, to face all of this, on top of war, PTSD, personal problems, and memory loss.</p><p> To top it all off, it seems you’ve managed to slip under the government’s radar, and have to discover what really happened to you, on your own.</p><p> But, maybe, with the help of two skeletons, it won’t be as painful to navigate through your trauma and look for a future.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Sans/Reader/Papyrus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>165</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Just a regular day, I suppose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coasilous03/gifts">Coasilous03</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberLynn2424/gifts">AmberLynn2424</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my very first proper work! I’m a little rusty in writing, so it might not be to the best standard. Massive thank-you to AmberLynn2424 for allowing me to use their fic, The Magic of a Mage, as inspiration. Go check out their writing, it’s really awesome! Also, I’m writing on mobile because I can’t use my computer, so there may be spelling mistakes.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a completely normal day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Well, normal for now. What was happening now wouldn’t be considered ‘normal’ before, but it was normal now. And you had to suck up, and deal with it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sunlight filtered through your measly blinds, burning holes into your eyes. Mornings were the worst. Your eyes were heavy, your mind fuzzy, and your head felt like it was stuffed with cotton.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After shifting around for a couple of moments, you managed to manoeuvre yourself out of bed. With about as much grace as a chihuahua in labour, you dragged yourself over to your bathroom. A quick brush of your teeth, a splash of water, and you were ready to face the day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You donned your plain work scrubs, thick gloves, and set out the door. You turned around to lock it behind you, but remembered that you didn’t have a lock. Oh well.</p>
<p>Early in the morning was when you were expected to arrive. It had taken some getting used to, and you still grimaced at the day, but you managed.

</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Greeting coworkers half-heartedly, you climbed into the back of once of the docked ambulances. Another healer climbed in, and the old machine jerked to life.</p>
<p>_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ </p>
<p>-many hours later-<br/>
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just your luck. One of the other healers was unable to arrive (something that was fuzzily embedded in your mind as ‘death’, but you couldn’t say for sure), so you had a double shift. On your own. Abso-fucking-lutely perfect. As if a regular shift didn’t exhaust you enough.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Your eyes barely stayed open as you received your last call for the day. Another monster-targeting terrorist group. Great, just what you needed to round it all off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The ambulance pulled up swiftly to the scene. High-rise apartments flanked you, but it was obviously poorer, and needed upkeep. You, now high-alert, practically leaped out of the vehicle and ran towards the two figures slumped over.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Two skeleton monsters were on the dirty pavement clutching each other. Colourful tears were spilling from their eyes. They didn’t even seem to notice you were there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You bent down to their level, and spoke to the one clad in a blue bandanna, summoning as soft a voice as you could muster. These things were always a delicate matter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I am (Y/N) of Div9 in the Healer District. You need help. Do I have your permission to help you?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The words tumbled from your mouth. You weren’t about to stand around and see another monster Fall Down. Not on your watch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The skeleton looked up at you, blue tears brimming in their eyes, which looked empty. They nodded their head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wasting no time, you removed your gloves in a practiced manner. Hands bare, you summoned the magic in your SOUL and let it flow through you. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Positive thoughts. Happy thoughts. Thoughts from before. They need to be happy. They need to feel loved. They need to forget, if only for now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once you pulled together as much as you could, you gently cradled the skeleton’s head in your hands, and let your magic loose. It wove green tendrils into the monster’s memory, unravelling the darkness and feeding it happiness. Love. They are loved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The monster slumped over, unconscious.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Their partner, clad in orange, looked up at you. Their gaze was filled with hate and despair, but you needed to treat them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do I have your permission to help you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was barely constrained, the venom in their voice. So much so that it caused you to double back. It was a tidal wave of emotions, and it was rare for you to see one so powerful. The pure, unbridled hate struck you so deeply, and sent tears to your eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You couldn’t be sad and cry now. Not now. Not while you needed to help them. You could cry later, when no one was around. Just not now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You swallowed the tears threatening to escape, and dropped your eyes to the unconscious skeleton, who was still in your arms. They started to stir, so you forced yourself to feel happiness, and fed it back into them. You promised yourself the last time a monster Fell Down. No more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You stood up from the smaller blue skeleton, and gently picked them up, your hands never leaving their body. Contact was crucial. They were much lighter than they looked, so it was easy for you to softly sling them into a bridal-style carry.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You took a step away from the one you dubbed “Hoodie”, before asking them;</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you coming? I need to bring them to the hospital.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At those words, “Hoodie” stood up and followed you to the ambulance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You lay “Bandanna” on the bed inside, before wrapping them in a shock blanket, making sure that one hand was always on them. You gave one to “Hoodie”, but they refused to use it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Might as well use this to your advantage and ask questions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You fished out your clipboard with your free hand, somehow managed to balance it on your lap, and took out a pen to begin writing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Names?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The skeleton sat there for a while, mulling over in their head as to whether they should trust you. Eventually they replied;</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sans Serif, and I’m Papyrus.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ages?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“143, and 117.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Questions were asked all the way until you got to the hospital, where you gained information on them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sans and Papyrus were brothers of unknown parentage. They had no conditions, and were perfectly healthy until now. What had triggered them seemed to be an act of terrorism in front of the monsters, designed to lower their HoPe, and cause them despair. This, unfortunately, wasn’t the first time you’ve seen this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You were still confused as to why Papyrus refused treatment. Acts like these easily demotivated and dusted much stronger monsters, but you weren’t going to dwell on that too long. You instead, spent that time analysing his behaviour.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Though he was very obviously in shock, and still delirious, his mind had one thing clear. His brother. All the way through the ambulance ride, Papyrus made sure to have some sort of contact with his brother, either touching his face, or his arm, whatever was closest. His eyes were glued to his brother’s face in obvious worry, but when he thought you couldn’t see him, he would shoot you the most hate-filled look you had seen before. You didn’t know why he harboured such hate for you, and frankly, it hurt. You had done absolutely nothing wrong, and here he was, looking like you’d enslaved his entire race. You tried to focus on other things, because if you let that drag you down, you could potentially hurt everyone in the vicinity.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The ambulance screeched to a halt on it’s old breaks, and the two were rushed into a room. You made sure to follow them all the way there. 

You, after all these years working, were still struck by how cold and unfamiliar the hospital rooms were. Usually you were the one out on the frontlines, being quite a powerful mage, so you didn’t see the rooms often. Plain white linens, dirty white walls that seemed to close in on you, white cabinets, dusty and rickety machinery infused with magic to keep them running, and a single depressingly small window. This wasn’t going to fare well for this kind of injury, and it was going to take a lot of effort from you to help.


You made a note to yourself to get them out of the hospital as soon as possible. Arguing with your supervisor, and bringing up points that sate their lust for power might work.</p>
<p>You brought in a chair for Papyrus to sit on and placed it close by Sans’ bed. He, with a skeptical glint in his eye (perhaps he knew you had already analysed his personality well?), took a seat and held his brother’s hand. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Most other healers would leave it at that, especially after a double shift where you had to cover for a person. You weren’t most healers. You had so much of yourself yet to give, and you couldn’t stand by and watch a monster Fall Down, not if you could do anything about it. You were a rare one.</p>
<p>Although you had the typical emotional range, emotional sensitivity and emotion sense as other healers, you were tuned in to other’s emotions much more. You could sense other’s emotions perfectly fine, but you felt them in your SOUL. Empathy. Truly a rare trait for mages, they had been so corrupted and depressed. You were one of the last few who still had some hope.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That’s the reason you’d keep fighting for them. No matter how exhausted you were, you were going to save these two. You had so much to give, and you’d be damned if you didn’t give it. Saving monsters from Falling Down like this had never been done before, but you were filled with DETERMINATION.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know this is really similar to what AmberLynn2424 has at the beginning, but trust me, the plot is going to take a WHOLE new turn. I just really liked the framing that they put, but be prepared for a whole new adventure!</p><p>Me: reads and re-reads my own writing, pretending I’m reading it for the first time<br/>Also me: wow 23 hits already!?!?!</p><p>(I swear, there’s nothing wrong with me)</p><p> </p><p>Anyways, hope y’all like this work!</p><p> </p><p>Stay classy, my friends!</p><p>-N</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. We’re fighting for it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A minute or two to clear your mind of everything was all you needed. All you needed, before you could get to work on Sans.</p><p> </p><p>You thoughts were swimming in tar. Your head was fuzzy. But you had to continue. </p><p> </p><p>A yell out the door for a cup of the strongest coffee you could get should work. The younger resident healers were always so eager to impress the more powerful ones, and while you weren’t some sort of world-renowned healer, you liked to say you were quite up there on the list.</p><p> </p><p>“Cup of the strongest coffee you can make, please!”</p><p> </p><p>Your attention was still lost on you, so you mustered whatever magic you could pull out of yourself, and dedicated it to keeping Sans knocked out. It was only for now; you’d have your coffee, then you’d get to work on working through Sans’ trauma.</p><p> </p><p>An undetermined period of time later, a junior resident came in with a mug of black liquid. Their eyes were filled with apprehension once they entered, and they seemed even more alarmed when they spotted something black on your left temple.</p><p> </p><p>Ah, that.</p><p> </p><p>You’d almost forgotten about it by now.</p><p> </p><p>Self-consciously, you lifted a hand to the brand on your temple, leaving the other on Sans’ arm.</p><p> </p><p>Traitor.</p><p>Outcast.</p><p> </p><p>The resident quickly gave you the mug, and immediately turned heel. It was obvious they didn’t want to be in the same room as you for too long.</p><p> </p><p>Downing the liquid, you barely flinched at the temperature, and your tastebuds barely registered the taste. That’s what happens when you spend years eating and drinking disgusting things to keep yourself alive. Your tastebuds end up not updating you on what’s going on in your mouth, so you have to eat things and simply hope they’re not poisonous.</p><p> </p><p>You weren’t surprised that nobody had come to help you yet. Not many wanted to work with you, mainly because of the splintering black crack on your temple. The hospitals in Ebbott City were also badly organised. Healthcare facilities were underfunded. Everything was falling apart. Not many people cared.</p><p> </p><p>You turned to Papyrus, plan in mind.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to go into Sans’ mind and find the trauma. It will take a couple of hours. Please don’t mind any screaming I do. Sans will wake up with some memory loss, but the knowledge that he went through a traumatic event should still be there. It won’t affect him, though. Again,” your voice turned soft, and your eyes kind, “please don’t mind any screaming I do.”</p><p> </p><p>Papyrus was confused as to how you could say all that with a straight face. Sure, he knew this type of magic often came with an enormous price, but he didn’t expect you to go do it, never mind be so calm! It infuriated him. How can you act so kind! It must be some sort of trick. No healers actually cared. Not one. It was absolutely impossible.</p><p> </p><p>Mind (almost) fresh, heart racing, you brought your attention back to your patient. His blue tears were dried on his cheeks in streaks that sadly reminded you of makeup in the rain. It gave him a rather melancholy look, but you were glad to see his face seemed peaceful.</p><p> </p><p>You stretched the fabric of your sleeve, and used that to wipe at the streaks. Your hand was gentle as could be, and you found yourself admiring the skeleton’s face. The tears did leave colour on your clothes, and you weren’t sure if they would wash out, but you didn’t care. It pleased you to see any physical trace of his trauma removed. His face was beautiful when he looked so calm; it reminded you of a lake at sunrise. 


No, no. Now’s not the time.</p><p>You cleared your mind for a second. Got rid of those thoughts. Didn’t need them now.</p><p> </p><p>Right. Time to get to work.</p><p> </p><p>You closed your eyes, and thought on how to approach this. You never paid any attention to what they had taught you, as the education was rudimentary. But you supposed you didn’t expect much, since the whole world was in a war. That’s not important now, though.

</p><p> </p><p>Closed eyes, you were so deep into thinking that you didn’t notice Papyrus’ eyes on you. You were too busy trying to save Sans’ life, and wondering how to wake him up without hurting him.</p><p> </p><p>You took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, exhaled. Gathering up your magic. Inhale, exhale. Pull together all you’ve got. Inhale, exhale.</p><p> </p><p>You placed your hands onto Sans’ temples, and inhaled. You pulled back the magic that you poured into him earlier, slowly but surely. Don’t rush it. Don’t rush it.</p><p> </p><p>Sans slowly began waking up; you could tell by the adorable little sounds he was making. They were so cute, like a little-</p><p> </p><p>No! Not now!</p><p> </p><p>You forced yourself to focus on retracting your magic, and feeling out any negativity. Spots of darkness appeared here and there in his mind, so you absorbed them. Not a big deal, they were only minor traumas, and you could handle those easily. It reminded you of spring cleaning, and you chuckled a little under your breath.</p><p> </p><p>You could feel the intensity of Papyrus’ glare on your back. If looks could kill, you wouldn’t even exist in the first place, it was so intense.</p><p> </p><p>As Sans came to more and more, the dark spots in his mind became larger. Still nothing you couldn’t handle, but this gave a clue as to where the trauma might be.</p><p> </p><p>Once you cleared out the edges of his mind of any pain, you set to work finding the real deal. This was the most harrowing part, as it took a long time, a lot of magic, and there were often many obstacles.</p><p> </p><p>You felt your way through his mind with your magic, hyper-aware of every painful spot. Your senses were on high alert, both magic and mortal. Every single thing was amplified. Your scrubs were grating uncomfortably on your skin. Your every breath was a hurricane of noise. The room was freezing cold. The aftertaste of the coffee burned your tongue and nostrils. A massive feeling of wrong overcame your SOUL, you felt there was something in his mind. Like an ink spot on a sheet of paper. Like the feeling when you were dragged here. Like the feeling you got when you were alone at night, and your thoughts were screaming at you in your head. Like—</p><p> </p><p>You kept going.</p><p> </p><p>Combing through his mind, you took note of some things. Maybe it was a breach of privacy, but Sans’ mind was so colourful. It was absolutely stunning, the colours, the shapes, the thoughts, the hopes, the dreams! It was all so wonderfully positive, and it encouraged you to go further.</p><p> </p><p>It also made things a lot easier for you.</p><p> </p><p>What you predicted would be a five hour job became a single hour. A single hour of flitting through Sans’ mind, discovering what he was like, learning about him, and looking for the darkness.</p><p> </p><p>That hour passed, and you were face to face with the ugly beast.</p><p> </p><p>This trauma was absolutely enormous, so much so you were glad you had the common sense to put him into a deep sleep. He would have dusted immediately if he was awake to go through this! It was a beast of black, it seemed to suck all the light from around it, and it looked to be covered in oil. Everything in its immediate vicinity lost its colour. Everything except your magic, thank the stars.</p><p> </p><p>It roiled and curled and bubbled in his mind, blissfully unaware of your presence, and completely set on destroying Sans’ mind. You weren’t going to let it go this easily.</p><p> </p><p>You, clenching your eyes, balled together all of your magic, and wove it into green tendrils. Some were thick and strong, to be used to pull the pain down, while others were long and sinewy, to tie it up.</p><p> </p><p>Using another few moments to pull yourself together, you took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>No time like the present.</p><p> </p><p>You wrapped your magic around the inky beast, and immediately it started thrashing. You fought to gain control, but the trauma was strong. It thrashed and pulled and clawed at you, making it difficult to subdue it. You went to wrap a tendril around it’s body, but it immediately threw it off. You continued sending more tendrils, larger ones pulled and grappled with it’s torso, while the smaller ones snaked around anything else they could latch onto.</p><p> </p><p>It was extremely difficult, you were sweaty and were getting very tired. You couldn’t tell the passage of time either. It was only you and the injury.</p><p> </p><p>You dragged and pulled and heaved all you could, and noticed the monster was tiring. DETERMINATION coursed through you, and you fought even harder than before, exploiting all of it’s mistakes.</p><p> </p><p>It was another while before, with one constriction, you managed to subdue the beast.</p><p> </p><p>Slumping forwards, you took a moment to breathe. It was down. The beast was down. Hardest part over, now time for the painful part.</p><p> </p><p>You rested for a while, every so often adjusting your magic bindings on the beast, as to not let it escape. </p><p> </p><p>Once you were ready, you gathered up your strength. This one was going to hurt, badly.</p><p> </p><p>You steeled your mind, losing all of your insecurities. Your mind had to be completely clear, so the beast could not latch onto anything negative in you, and make a home in your head.</p><p> </p><p>Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.</p><p> </p><p>Three....</p><p> </p><p>Two....</p><p> </p><p>One...</p><p> </p><p>You constricted your magic tightly around the beast, and began to take it in. Sans was stirring and mumbling, but you couldn’t focus on that now.</p><p> </p><p>The beast thrashed violently again, but you had it under a secure enough grip.</p><p> </p><p>Then the pain hit.</p><p> </p><p>You hadn’t taken a lot of the beast into your mind when it did hit. And boy, this one was a bad one.</p><p> </p><p>The claws of insecurity, confusion, and inexplicable rage and pain dug white-hot marks into your mind. You bit down on your tongue, blood filling your mouth. </p><p> </p><p>More claws. More rage. More pain.</p><p> </p><p>Seven different voices, some of them yours, others not, were screaming at you in your head. They were shrieking defiantly, pouring burning-hot wax through your ears into your mind. You felt like shrieking along with them, but not for the same reasons...</p><p> </p><p>You opened your mouth and screamed.</p><p> </p><p>It was a battle to keep your hands on Sans’ head with all this pain coursing through you. Each second was a new round of daggers, a new round of hot coals, and new round of utter massacre on your mind. What was still conscious in your mind screamed at you to Run! Run! Run! Far away! Get away! But you refused to do so now. It was almost done.</p><p> </p><p>Tears were streaming down your face. You couldn’t see, or hear. Only feel the cold unfamiliarity of the room. Or was that your body? Your body didn’t feel like your own any more..... are you....you? You couldn’t tell. The lines were blurry between mind and physical. What happened in his mind? What was happening in real life? You couldn’t— it’s Not— WHY!?!—Your magic was continuing to work on the beast. You could barely distinguish the thoughts in your head. Your thoughts kept getting cut off—</p><p> </p><p>It was the last burst of darkness to mop up, and the final onslaught came. Worse than daggers, worse than white-hot metal, worse than poison, worse than burning, worse than death, worse than hell. </p><p> </p><p>You weren’t aware of your physical self any more. There was only pain, pain and scarlet rage, clouding your mind. Is this really what Sans went through? You couldn’t think any more. Only pain.</p><p> </p><p>You felt like your SOUL was screaming, your SOUL was splintering, your SOUL was dying—</p><p> </p><p>You slumped over onto the bed. It was done.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alright, second chapter up and about!<br/>Hope you guys like this one, and please leave a comment if you have any criticism to give — it would be very much appreciated!</p><p>Wow, it’s only Chapter 2 and we already have some major action? Whaaaat? And there’s gonna be more? Tbh I’m going to kill myself writing this because I’m basically spitting all my mental struggles into writing, but hey! It’s a coping mechanism!</p><p> </p><p>Hope y’all like it as much as I do!</p><p> </p><p>Stay classy, my friends!</p><p>-N</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Let’s save the day, together!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hot light shone through your eyelids. That was the first thing you registered.</p><p> </p><p>You felt even groggier than ever before. You’d only ever had a hangover once before, after a particularly raucous party, but that didn’t even come close to this feeling. Your head was swimming underwater, sounds muffled and distorted beyond comprehension. Was there someone speaking....? You felt like someone was speaking.</p><p> </p><p>You dared open your eyelids a little, and immediately recoiled at the brightness of the light. Since when were lights that bright? A groan was immediately pulled from your throat.</p><p> </p><p>Almost agonisingly slowly, you shifted around to be in a more comfortable position, and cover your eyes with your arm. What were you even lying on? You couldn’t tell, and, honestly, you didn’t care right now. Not that you even had it in you; you were much too tired.</p><p> </p><p>Your brain sluggishly registered that someone seemed to be poking you in your side, then your forehead, and your nose. It didn’t feel like a hand, though, it was much too hard for that. It was like someone had rods for fingers.</p><p> </p><p>The ‘hand’ skimmed over your face, and lay lightly on your temple. Specifically, your left temple. </p><p> </p><p>What could be there?</p><p> </p><p>Your memories were still lost on you.</p><p> </p><p>You weren’t sure how much time passed before the ‘hand’ became more insistent. It began poking and prodding you quickly, and flattened across your forehead, dancing across your whole face and tangling in your hair.</p><p> </p><p>You dared open your eyes again, albeit slowly. The light was still bright, but you could almost see properly without pain. A few more seconds of blinking and squinting, and the whiteness cleared from your vision.</p><p> </p><p>You were met with a grinning skeleton.</p><p> </p><p>“PAPYRUS, LOOK! SHE’S AWAKE!”, they turned excitedly to someone you couldn’t see.</p><p> </p><p>Who are these people.....?</p><p> </p><p>Who are you?</p><p> </p><p>Thinking about that last question was a mistake. Your memories hit you like a truck. Your name. Your family. Your previous life. The monsters returning. Finding your magic. Running. Lots of running. Being obtained. Being drafted. Being taught. Escaping. More running. Pain. Branding. Then.....now.</p><p> </p><p>Your mind decided to finally clue you in on the fact that you were lying in the lap of a skeleton. Specifically, your patient.</p><p> </p><p>You scrambled as quickly as your stiff limbs would let you to get off the bed.</p><p> </p><p>Your skills in waking up in the morning took action, and you somehow managed to throw yourself off the bed, get tangled in the sheets, and land face-first on the floor. </p><p> </p><p>Full-bellied laughter filled the room, as you grumpily rolled around and freed yourself from the covers. You sat up with a jokingly murderous gleam to your eyes. The room fell silent. A glare was sent your way, form somewhere behind you.</p><p> </p><p>You began laughing.</p><p> </p><p>Your patient, who you now remembered to be called “Sans”, began laughing with you, tears appearing in his eyes from laughing so much. Behind you, soft “nyeh heh heh”s were emitted, before being quickly stifled.</p><p> </p><p>You awkwardly picked yourself off the ground, dusted your old scrubs off, finger-combed your hair, and picked up the blanket.</p><p> </p><p>You wobbled around a bit, and your head was pounding. You felt your negative thoughts broil from inside your mind. Yet, you ignored them. You had a patient to treat.</p><p> </p><p>You set to go over to Sans on the bed, blanket in hand, and ever-so-gently covered him with it, making sure there were no gaps for heat to escape. You didn’t notice, but Sans was looking at you with literal stars in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Once you finished, you stepped back and gave him a soft smile.</p><p> </p><p>Then it hit you.</p><p> </p><p>He survived.</p><p> </p><p>Sans had survived.</p><p> </p><p>Your expression quickly morphed into one of shock and awe, and you exclaimed,</p><p> </p><p>“You’re alive!”</p><p> </p><p>Your heart was soaring, your mind felt like it should be somewhere in the sky. Your heart was racing. You did it! It worked! You managed to save him!</p><p> </p><p>You reached out to grab Sans’ skeletal hands, and looked him deeply in the eyes, searching for any signs of pain. Sans merely looked back in shock, while a light blue dusting of colour took to his cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>“O-OF COURSE I AM ALIVE, HUMAN! I AM THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, NOTHING CAN DEFEAT ME!”</p><p> </p><p>Your heart practically screamed at that. How can he be so extremely adorable!?!? It was simply unfair!</p><p> </p><p>“Can I......” you trailed off, hesitant, “check you over? I need to make sure you’re okay. Even the strongest of boss monsters have Fallen Down because of this.”</p><p> </p><p>Sans shot a barely-hidden look of anguish at his brother, who was still in the same seat as before. Papyrus simply shrugged, but you noticed he looked worse for wear.</p><p> </p><p>“Papyrus..” you turned away from Sans, and carefully stepped towards him.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, can I help you?”</p><p> </p><p>You shot him your most pleading look, and your heart dragged down at his hesitance. You could already tell it was either both survive, or both Fall Down. They were tied up in each other with their love, and if one Fell, it wouldn’t be long before the other would, too.</p><p> </p><p>Papyrus sat there, looking at you with empty eye sockets. You took this opportunity to look over him thoroughly, and saw some sort of ash-like substance on his hoodie. It was around his sleeves, his neck and his hood. You couldn’t tell if it was cigarette ash or his dust, but either way it was bad news.</p><p> </p><p>“Papyrus, pull me into an encounter. I need to check your stats.”</p><p> </p><p>You voice took on a rarely-used sense of authority and urgency. However, this wasn’t enough to sway the skeleton. He continued to sit there, and his face adopted rather smug glare.</p><p> </p><p>“Sans,” you turned quickly to his brother, “please, check Papyrus’ HoPe.”</p><p> </p><p>Sans’ face became more stricken, which you didn’t think was possible. His eyes flicked up above Papyrus’ head. He sat there for a short time, mulling his eyes through his brothers stats, before his eye lights completely went out. That’s how you knew he found his brother’s HoPe.</p><p> </p><p>He turned to you, face (somehow) creased with distress, voice unnaturally quiet.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s 94, out of 680.”</p><p> </p><p>You swiped for your clipboard, completely ignoring at how your head screamed at you to slow down. You flipped over to a new page, and viciously wrote it down. A hybrid boss monster. At 94 HoPe. Not good. Not good. Really really really not good.</p><p> </p><p>You flipped over to another page, and turned back to Sans.</p><p> </p><p>“And what about your own HoPe?”</p><p> </p><p>Sans looked up at the stats above his head, visible only to him.</p><p> </p><p>“THE MAGNIFICENT SANS WILL LIVE, AT 12 OUT OF 20. PLEASE, HUMAN, SAVE MY BROTHER!”</p><p> </p><p>Sans’ eyes were slowly filling with tears, eye sockets still black.</p><p> </p><p>“Sans, I’m so sorry. I can’t do anything unless Papyrus lets me. Otherwise, I could........ suffer a fate worse than this.”</p><p> </p><p>You trailed your hand up your face to your temple, and rubbed along it. You hissed in pain once you touched it, and recoiled. Taking away bodily autonomy, in Ebbott City, these days? If it was a mage, the immediate punishment was prison. A mage, in prison? Guaranteed to not make it out in a single piece. More like..... a hundred or so little ones. The hate against your kind was brutal.</p><p> </p><p>Sans’ face blanched (again, how was this possible?).</p><p> </p><p>You quickly turned to the other skeleton now slouching in his seat.</p><p> </p><p>Too many thoughts were racing through your head. You could barely deal with all the deaths on your hands now, how could you deal with two more? All because of the stupid, stupid government, with their stupid, stupid laws and stupid, stupid punishments for something people did over a thousand years ago.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, Papyrus, let me help you. I know you don’t trust me, for whatever reason.... though I think it’s probably........”, your train of thought slowed for a second,</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care why you don’t trust me, but please, let me save you! If only for your brother’s sake.”</p><p> </p><p>You could see the cogs turning in his head, if those cogs were rusty and unable to turn very quickly. It was very obvious  the trauma was getting to him, and slowing down his mental processes.</p><p> </p><p>“Prove it.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Prove that I can trust you. Keep treatin’ my bro, and if he gets better, I’ll let ya treat me.”</p><p> </p><p>You inhaled, closing your eyes and pulling your hands together. So it was going to be like that, huh?</p><p> </p><p>Very well.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright. I’ll treat your brother to the best of my abilities, and get him up and active as quickly as I can.”</p><p> </p><p>“We have a deal, then.”</p><p>Papyrus didn’t actually trust anyone that easily. He didn’t say that, though, cause you might take advantage of it. Somebody out of the two brothers needed to be awake and aware, so he’d do that for Sans. Papyrus knew Sans would do it in return, although he’d have to warn him. His brother was always too quick to trust people. The mark on the side of your temple gave Papyrus a strange pang in his heart, but his logical side told him you tried to escape your duty as a healer mage, so that was your punishment. Therefore, you were untrustworthy. However, no matter how hard he fought it, the pang in his heart grew, telling him its unfair on you, it’s unfair, you did nothing wrong.</p><p> </p><p>Papyrus shook his head, clearing it from its thoughts. Shove them down, and don’t confront them. It was a tactic that had worked thus far, so why not now?</p><p> </p><p>You shot one last concerned look at Papyrus, before turning back to Sans.</p><p> </p><p>“BROTHER, THE HUMAN IS HERE TO HELP! HOWEVER, IT IS NO BOTHER. THE MAGNIFICENT SANS WILL DO HIS BEST TO GET BETTER, SO PAPYRUS WILL BE SAVED!”


</p><p>You giggled lightly at his infectious enthusiasm, and replied;</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I’ll make you better and happy again, and I won’t ever give up.”</p><p> </p><p>Unbeknownst to you, those words sent chills down the spines of both skeletons. Not unpleasant chills...... but their minds, unprompted, filled with admiration at your dedication to your SOUL colour and desire to help others.</p><p> </p><p>You couldn’t shake the notion that your consciousness wasn’t registering something, but you chalked it up to exhaustion. Your subconsciousness and magic were, however, picking up on every single little action the skeletons made, from staring at you too long, to a barely-noticeable blush dusting someone’s cheekbones. </p><p> </p><p>Glancing back at Papyrus, you gave him a warm smile. He’d never seen a smile that felt so much like home before, but his mind shoved that down completely before he was aware of it in the first place. </p><p> </p><p>You, however, did notice how your heartbeat increased the tiniest amount, how your palms suddenly felt clammier, how your mind filled with awe. You simply chalked that up to admiring how protective and dedicated he was to his brother. You weren’t aware of any other options, so that was obviously it, right?</p><p> </p><p>Plus, you were a healer, a doctor of sorts. Doctors don’t mix with patients, not in that way. Not under any circumstances.</p><p> </p><p>The swift, angry opening of a door startled you out of your almost-reverie. Your supervisor stood in the doorway, hands in her pockets, steam practically pouring from her ears.</p><p> </p><p>Things were about to get a whole lot more complicated.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alrighty! Chapter 3, up and running!</p><p>Maybe you guys can sort of see where this is going, maybe not. I’m genuinely unsure how long this will end up being.</p><p>Again, thanks for reading. Comments with criticism are greatly appreciated, so I can get back into my writing groove!</p><p> </p><p>Hope y’all like it as much as I do!</p><p> </p><p>Stay classy, my friends!</p><p> </p><p>-N</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Getting lost in what has passed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warnings for PTSD/War</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Your supervisor was in the doorway, steam practically pouring from her ears.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh god,” you thought to yourself, “what now?”</p><p> </p><p>“What is it?” you put on a fake smile, barely concealing the obvious disgust you had for her.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it? What is it?!?! You’re late for your shift!!!” </p><p> </p><p>She flipped her tied-up hair, glaring at you. She wasn’t going to be happy with any answer you gave her, but you could try, right?</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well, I’m very busy right now. There are enough healers to cover for me. And I just had a double shift where I covered for two people. I’m in no state to go out.”</p><p> </p><p>“That is no excuse-“ her eyebrows were shooting up her forehead, climbing so high you thought they might become part of her hairline.</p><p> </p><p>You sighed internally. The residue of pain from removing Sans’ trauma was broiling in the gut of your mind. This wasn’t going to be fun.</p><p> </p><p>“Listen, Tracy, I’m not going out there. I can’t, if I go I’m going to hurt people. I can’t heal anyone right now, I’m too spent. Plus, I have these two patients to look after. Also, a triple shift? I could complain to head office. Nobody is expected to work thirty-six hours straight.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know just as well as I do that head office doesn’t care. And we’re short on healers. You can use all the training you learned-“</p><p> </p><p>Sans and Papyrus were watching this exchange with interest.</p><p> </p><p>You zoned out, completely aware that you were doing so. You couldn’t stop it. You felt the pain begin to take over your mind. Violent vertigo seized your body. You couldn’t stop it. All you could do was sit back and watch.</p><p> </p><p>The training. Your mind flew into the past.</p><p> </p><p>-flashback-</p><p> </p><p>You were dragged out of bed before sunrise. Well, you couldn’t call that a bed. More like a..... sleeping roll, to put it nicely.</p><p> </p><p>Essentially you slept on a bag of straw. Like all the other trainee healers.</p><p> </p><p>Other exhausted healers, in clothes well past the point that is acceptable to wear them, lining up for ‘food’. </p><p> </p><p>It was all you had during the war.</p><p> </p><p>Huddling in underground bomb shelters, learning about healing and basic medicine, just to go out and heal the other fighting mages.</p><p> </p><p>Leading you out to your inevitable deaths. Like lambs to the slaughter. Except you knew you were going to die.</p><p> </p><p>-flash forward-</p><p> </p><p>Friendships were somehow formed. A well-timed quip, witty banter, secret smiles. Small beacons of light to make things better. Some semblance of happiness.</p><p> </p><p>Long brown hair. The most beautiful burgundy eyes. Eyes that knew more than they should, but somehow managed to be optimistic and bright.</p><p> </p><p>Those killer eyes.</p><p> </p><p>The most beautiful person. So incredibly kind. So incredibly comforting. So funny. So perfect. They had the most vibrant green SOUL you’d ever seen. They felt like home.</p><p> </p><p>Friendship blossomed into something else. Something more. Unspoken feelings. Always unspoken. You didn’t dare ruin your only light in that dark, dank place.</p><p> </p><p>“.....~promise me~......”</p><p> </p><p>“.......I promise~......”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-flash forward-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Whistling. Lots of loud noise. Bright flashes. Rubble.</p><p> </p><p>The air cracked above you.</p><p> </p><p>Your ears rang. Desperation. You were desperate.</p><p> </p><p>“.....where are they!?.....”</p><p> </p><p>Relief. Hugging. Your heartstrings tugged painfully. But you were relieved.</p><p> </p><p>Safe.</p><p> </p><p>“......don’t let go....”</p><p> </p><p>“...I promise, I won’t......”</p><p> </p><p>Running. Lots of it. Screaming bombs. Screaming people. Screaming monsters. Screaming magic. Shattering SOULs.</p><p> </p><p>The next moment was too clear.</p><p> </p><p>Yelling. Roaring. Hissing.</p><p> </p><p>You are both tripping along the remainder of your base. There is nobody else around. Why is there nobody else around?</p><p> </p><p> Monsters chasing you, of all shapes and sizes. Terrifying Fell monsters. Horror monsters. Screaming magic at you.</p><p> </p><p>Your legs are burning, and they are lagging behind. They look exhausted.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, their SOUL is ripped out of their chest. It’s a sickly, unnatural blue. Their beautiful eyes widen in fear. Attacks are launched.</p><p> </p><p>“RUN!” They scream at you, and, after a moment of hesitation, you do.</p><p> </p><p>You turn back to look once you are far enough away, and time slows.</p><p> </p><p>Their screaming voice. Tear-filled eyes. The monsters flee. Their SOUL is splintering. You run, but you can’t get there fast enough. Why can’t your legs move quicker? Their SOUL is cracking now. Your mind cries at your legs to run.</p><p> </p><p>You don’t make it in time.</p><p> </p><p>Their SOUL breaks and splinters into a million pieces.</p><p> </p><p>Your eyes fill with tears. Gut-wrenching pain. You scream a name that is lost to you. You don’t know how long you stay there. You desperately try to heal them, but nothing works. They’re gone. They’re dead.</p><p> </p><p>“.....~promise me~......” runs on a sickening loop in your head.</p><p> </p><p>You promised.</p><p> </p><p>You promised!</p><p> </p><p>You PROMISED!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-flashback end-</p><p> </p><p>You blinked yourself back into reality, eyes wide and wet. The smaller skeleton monster (the name ‘Sans’ floated in your mind) was in front of your face, with a worried expression. Why was everything sideways?</p><p> </p><p>Oh, right. You were on the floor.</p><p> </p><p>You sat up, messily drying the tears from your eyes and sniffling. Your throat was hoarse.</p><p> </p><p>Eyes still widened, and unblinking, you turned back to Tracy.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, what was that?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-Sans’ POV-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The healer was getting into a slight argument with the other human.</p><p> </p><p>Sans thought that the other human was quite rude, barging in like that and demanding that the healer worked more. But he admired you for how amazingly patient you were, although you did stand your ground.</p><p> </p><p>Until the other human said something.</p><p> </p><p>It was something along the lines of training, and they went in-depth into what the healer should have learned. But the healer didn’t seem to be listening.</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes were wide and unblinking, staring out into space. Waving a hand in front of her eyes did nothing— she just sort of stood there, staring.</p><p> </p><p>It was when tears began to form in her eyes that Sans understood what was happening.</p><p> </p><p>The healer was getting lost in a flashback.</p><p> </p><p>Sans had always prided himself in taking care of other people. He’s done so for his brother (and of course he did, he was the magnificent Sans!), so he’d seen his share of PTSD and night terrors.</p><p> </p><p>He just never expected the healer, who had been nothing but kind and strong, to experience it.</p><p> </p><p>Thinking about it tugged at something deep inside him, something that snarled ‘protection’, but he couldn’t figure out why. All the mages were employed by the human government, and Sans thought it was great! They could share their powerful magic and help other humans and monsters!</p><p> </p><p>But this. This wasn’t what Sans had envisioned the human government was doing. If they caused this type of pain, no wonder all the mages seemed miserable! That would mean that they’d been treated like products! Not something that was aware and alive, with feelings, but as something to be utilised— a weapon and a money-maker. The healer didn’t deserve this.</p><p> </p><p>Sans knew what to do, and desperately tried to pull the healer out of the flashback. </p><p> </p><p>It irked him that the other human was just standing there, gaping like some sort of goldfish. Why didn’t she help her? Why didn’t she do anything? Was this how mages treated each other?</p><p> </p><p>Sans’ mind buzzed off in thought again. He’d never seen mages treat each other like that. Usually they were kinder to each other, banding up together to fight against everyone else. But he’d never seen them bully their own kind.</p><p> </p><p>Unless it had something to do with that black mark on her temple....</p><p> </p><p>Enough thought for now. Questions could be asked later.</p><p> </p><p>Sans gently talked to the human, trying to engage her back into real life. There were moments where she would lapse back in, and he could have a normal conversation for a few seconds, but the pain would pull her under again. Eventually, she got lost in it completely, and curled up on the floor. She was shaking and crying, and even at one point started screaming. It was haunting, like she was in so much pain...</p><p> </p><p>It infuriated Sans that;</p><p> </p><p>1. He couldn’t do anything to get her out of it</p><p>2. The other human was still just standing there!</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore, and with a determined shake to her shoulders, she woke up. He’d admit, it wasn’t the best way to get her out, and it was very risky, but in the end it did the job.</p><p> </p><p>Sans was filled with relief when she sat up, and began drying her own tears. He wanted to reach out, to touch and comfort her, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t supposed to get too close with the mages. Nobody could trust them.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, what was that?”</p><p> </p><p>Sans was filled with an amplified mixture of shock, disbelief and awe when she looked up from her sitting position, pain still clearly evident on her face, and said that. She’d just been on the floor, screaming in pain, not even twenty seconds ago! Now she was acting like everything was fine! How? How could she act like everything was fine when it obviously wasn’t?</p><p> </p><p>How flawed was the system, to create trauma like this, and force them to carry on?</p><p> </p><p>-Normal POV-</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, what was that?”</p><p> </p><p>Soldier on. You had to keep going, keep going, or get lost in the waves. Keep going, soldier on, and stay strong.</p><p> </p><p>Your supervisor stood there, somehow a mixture of shock, boredom, and annoyance plastered on her face.</p><p> </p><p>“As I was saying-“</p><p> </p><p>“EXCUSE ME, HUMAN?”</p><p> </p><p>She was cut off by Sans, who had an expression that was...... strange, to say the least. You couldn’t identify the emotion associated with it.</p><p> </p><p>His emotions hit you like a wave, not even a second later. Anger. Disgust. Protectiveness. Affection. A desire to help. To save. For some reason, they were all conflicting, but not with one another. Something else was there, below the surface, but you couldn’t read it.</p><p> </p><p>What shocked you was the fact that some of these were directed towards you.</p><p> </p><p>You could never explain how you knew an emotion was directed somewhere, you just could. It was like.... a different feeling, like the difference between someone looking at a different person, and someone looking at you.</p><p> </p><p>But that was it. Sans’ protectiveness was directed at you.</p><p> </p><p>Which made no sense, because you were the healer mage and you were supposed to help your patients, you were supposed to heal them. Not the other way around.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it?”</p><p> </p><p>Tracy barked back, in a half-assed attempt to be able to stand against a monster. She could never win, of course. In this world, it was the Rich, the Governments, the Humans and Monsters, and, last of all, the Mages. Tracy never stood a chance in the first place.</p><p> </p><p>“THE HEALER HAS BEEN WORKING VERY HARD TO SAVE ME AND MY BROTHER. SHE IS VERY TIRED. SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY IN A LOT OF PAIN. WHY DO YOU INSIST ON MAKING HER WORK?”</p><p> </p><p>Your mind began feeling fuzzy again. No, no, no, no, no! Not this! You had to get up and work! You had to help Sans and Papyrus, you had to-</p><p> </p><p>Your mind fell out of reality. You weren’t here anymore, your head was floating above the room. This didn’t feel like your body. Who were you? This felt wrong, everything was wrong! You were going to slump out soon. Best get back to the apartment and sleep. If you carried on like this, you’d really hurt someone.</p><p> </p><p>You vaguely registered that Sans and Tracy were bickering, until they were in a full-on argument. Papyrus stepped in and said something, and she stormed out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>“HUMAN? HUMAN! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”</p><p> </p><p>Sans was waving his hands in front of your face. You couldn’t carry on much longer. You had to go to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Slowly, you picked yourself off the ground. You shuffled across to where your clipboard was. The exhaustion that was sitting heavily on your eyelids prevented many reactions, interaction and attention you might have paid to the brothers otherwise.</p><p> </p><p>‘SLEEP!’ your brain insisted.</p><p> </p><p>You scrawled down an address and phone number on the corner of sheet, ripped it off, and handed it to Papyrus, for some reason. Why Papyrus? Your logical self couldn’t figure that one out. Didn’t he.... hate you? You couldn’t care anymore, not right now. You were on autopilot, and you wouldn’t deal with much more.</p><p> </p><p>“Here’s my address, and my phone number,” your voice sounded like it was coming from underwater, and it seemed too exhausted to be your own, “call me if you need anything within the next few hours. I’ll get another healer in while I’m gone. I’ll be back soon, I just need a break.”</p><p> </p><p>You sort of remembered talking to one of your favoured coworkers and them agreeing to something. Your memory was failing you in this state. You were pretty sure you checked yourself out, and that you began walking home.</p><p> </p><p>Your mind automatically piloted you down the shady alleyways nobody used so you wouldn’t get harassed. Harassment was the worst, and some mages had even been killed through it. Shady alleyways weren’t much better, but at least not many people were there. You’d take an awkward confrontation with one person, in which you could easily defend yourself, any day over a group of people spitting, touching you and yelling at you. Any day.</p><p> </p><p>You couldn’t remember when you got back to your apartment, or whether you even changed your clothes or ate or something, but you knew for certain that you lay down to bed, and immediately zonked out. You were completely spent.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, Chapter 4!</p><p>I’ve had this ready since yesterday, but I couldn’t post it because my internet was down all day :( and there may be some mistakes (consequences of me writing at 3 am, but anyway)</p><p>I have a question for you guys, though. Should I make the reader gender-neutral? I usually write female because that’s the audience this type of thing usually caters to, but maybe some of my enby or male pals might wanna join in? </p><p>Hope you guys enjoy!</p><p>Stay classy, my friends!</p><p>-N</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Puzzles and flowers to heal the mind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>What sleep you had was unfulfilling and restless. Waking up was something akin to being drugged on the most intense drugs the Black Market had to offer.</p><p> </p><p>In short, you were still exhausted, groggy as hell, and felt like screaming.</p><p> </p><p>Welp.</p><p> </p><p>Getting up, as usual, was a pain and ended up with a mouthful of carpet. </p><p> </p><p>Same old boring routine, dragging yourself into your semi-kitchen, chugging coffee like it’s a lifeline, brushing your teeth, and getting ready for the day.</p><p> </p><p>You, against your own internal advice, decided to put a bit of thought into what exactly was in Sans’ mind, and the trauma you fought with. While thinking about the trauma elicited a very negative and adverse reaction from your emotions, thinking about Sans brought strange, unsolicited waves of happiness.</p><p> </p><p>Happiness. You’d cling onto happiness more than a starved leech onto human skin.</p><p> </p><p>Sans’ mind was so bright, so wonderfully colourful, so chaotically complex! He truly saw the best in everything and everyone. Innocent was not the right word, it was too young and fluffy, but neither was optimistic— it was too bland. Sans was a beautiful monster, with a beautiful SOUL. Information about him you didn’t know you had climbed into your awareness. It must have been there from when you explored his mind. Sans liked puzzles, he liked tacos, and his favourite colour was blue. He really loved his brother, and cared for him a lot. </p><p> </p><p>Just thinking about this sent your mind into strange jitters. You were still exhausted, and your mind wasn’t working to it’s full capacity, so that was what you chalked it up to.</p><p> </p><p>You hadn’t even noticed that you managed to get dressed, grab a bite to eat, and make your way to the hospital in that time.</p><p> </p><p>Time to do something nice for Sans. He’ll recover quicker, and be back to his proper, chipper self.</p><p> </p><p>You turned heel down into one of the shops on the corner of the dusky street you were on. It was an odd shop, with bits and bobs, old pieces, board games, old items of clothing, and old books. It was by far your favourite place in this godforsaken city.</p><p> </p><p>The owner greeted you with a chirpy smile as you walked in. You were always happy to see them, well-worked hands and elbows resting on the wooden countertop, wearing that worn green apron. They were very open and accepting, and didn’t harass you, so that was a win-win situation for you.</p><p> </p><p>With quick steps, you browsed the used dusty shelves, stocked with various strange items. A kazoo that had a barbie doll head attached to the top, earrings that dangled raven skulls, a tea set with cups and plates shaped like hands, whatever you could dream of, it was there.</p><p> </p><p>After a good ten minutes of browsing, you found a couple of puzzles Sans might enjoy, including the ever-famous 100-sided Rubix Cube, a Mensa Test flipbook, Brainteasers and a box that opened twenty-five different ways.</p><p> </p><p>With these items in tow, you clumsily plonked them on the counter and reached for your wallet. Flipping through the cloth pockets, you pulled out a good handful of the money and paid for your items. It was difficult, with the amount you earn, but you always managed to make it. And it really helped that you didn’t have to pay rent, because of the State-provided housing for the mages.</p><p> </p><p>With your purchases packed into a mesh bag, you set off for work.</p><p> </p><p>On you way there, you spotted elegant orange blossoms blooming under the shade of a skanky-looking tree. You simply had to pick them; they’d add a lively bit of colour, and they looked so inviting!</p><p> </p><p>Honestly, you were still unsure of how much time passed, and you didn’t bother checking. You merely checked in at the hospital, scribbled a slightly sternly-worded note under your supervisor’s door explaining who you were going to be treating (obviously with some sugarcoating and bribery about power sprinkled in), and set off to their hospital room. </p><p> </p><p>You never noticed the number of the room, or even really what ward it was in. It was still in the ICU, room 113. You had to move them somewhere else, somehow.</p><p> </p><p>Before going in, you decided to set up a... barrier between the world and your emotions. Well, maybe not “set up”. More like.... solidify it. You had one around you usually, to prevent anyone feeling and pain you might be, but you strengthened this one. You couldn’t let any of the brothers feel what you did, not while you and they were in such a delicate state.</p><p> </p><p>You were met with a half-hearted glare from Papyrus, a wide grin from Sans, and your exhausted-looking coworker. </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Alex. And how are you two doing today?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex high-tailed it out of the room and shut the door. The window wasn’t open, and the room was getting claustrophobic, so you left the bag on the table, along with the clipboard and three glasses of water that were already there, and opened the window.</p><p> </p><p>Turning back, you set the flowers into a glass, and turned back to Sans with a soft smile.</p><p> </p><p>“I AM DOING MUCH BETTER, HEALER, THANKS TO YOU! ALAS, I AM AFRAD THAT I WORRY FOR MY BROTHER!“</p><p> </p><p>“Oh...?”</p><p> </p><p>“I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO CONVINCE HIM TO STAY, AS HE WOULD LIKE TO LEAVE WITH ME! HE SAID IT’S ‘TOO DEPRESSING’, AND, WHILE I ADMIT THIS ROOM IS NOT THE BEST OF QUALITY, THE MAGNIFICENT SANS UNDERSTANDS THAT HE NEEDS TIME TO HEAL, AS DOES HIS BROTHER!”</p><p> </p><p>At the last part, Sans turned his lively blue eyes towards Papyrus pointedly. Papyrus shrugged nonchalantly.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I’m hoping to make things less drab here. I know it’s not the best, and we don’t have much funding right now, and I’ll try my best to move you somewhere nicer ....but! I brought flowers to make things a bit more colourful,” you gestured to the glass on the table,” and I got some things you might like!”</p><p> </p><p>“OOOOH!” </p><p> </p><p>Sans practically cooed like a little child, which had you giggling to yourself. He was such pleasant company, you couldn’t understand why someone would traumatise him like that. Well, it was racism, but there’s nothing you could do about that.</p><p> </p><p>With swift motions, you opened the bag to reveal the puzzles and mind challenges you had in store for Sans.</p><p> </p><p>“Papyrus,” you turned guiltily towards him, ”I’m afraid I don’t have anything for you, because I don’t know what you like, but I can get you something if you’d like me to!”</p><p> </p><p>“Nah, m’good.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You sure?”</p><p> </p><p>“........could’ja get me some cigarettes, and a bottle of honey? They don’t have those ‘round here.”</p><p> </p><p>Your doctor mind internally cringed at ‘cigarettes’, but you actually contemplated whether it would have any effect on him. In the end, you decided to go with the safe approach.</p><p> </p><p>“Do they......hurt you, in any way? The cigarettes, I mean.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nah. Got no lungs.”</p><p> </p><p>You aimed to please Papyrus, or to at least get into his good books, or get him to trust you. If the way to his heart is through cigarettes, then so be it.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure, I’ll get you those things. I’ll just ask you to smoke either in the smoking areas, outside, or when the windows are open, and only if it’s not too much for Sans.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine by me.”</p><p> </p><p>With that sorted, you turned back to a patiently waiting Sans. Something in you grinned at the sight, at how enthusiastic he was. You hadn’t noticed before, but his eyes were god-honest stars, and looking eagerly up at you.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, so when I did that poking around in your mind-“</p><p> </p><p>“OH, THAT? HEALER, THAT WAS SO COOL! ALL OF THE PAIN JUST WENT! THOUGH NOT AS AWESOME AS THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, MWEH HEH HEH! I COULD STILL FEEL BITS OF YOUR MAGIC IN MY MIND WHEN YOU WERE FINISHED. YOU NEED TO TELL ME HOW YOU DID IT!”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, er, okay. So...”</p><p> </p><p>Sans’ eyes were wide and curious, and he was leaning towards you expectantly. He was enraptured by whatever you would tell him, you could tell. You could feel Papyrus’ cool gaze on your neck.</p><p> </p><p>“Basically, in your mind, trauma manifests as a sort of...... beast, I suppose. It’s huge, and sticky, and black, and everything around it is grey, like it loses it’s colour. And, uh, what I do is, I take my magic, and tie it down. It likes to fight back a lot, and it’s mean and strong. Once I’ve tied it down, and it’s not moving ........i-it’s difficult to explain. I pretty much.... absorb it...? And deal with it in my own head.”</p><p> </p><p>“BUT THAT MEANS—“</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>Sans’ chipper demeanour quickly shifted into a more concerned and sad expression. Sans understood pain, even though he seemed so innocent and happy-go-lucky. He understood pain, he had seen it, and experienced it.</p><p> </p><p>“DID- DID IT HURT? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”</p><p> </p><p>You almost regretted telling him about the process. He was your patient, and you, like any other good healer, were sacrificing some of yourself to fix him. Everyone did it, right? You hated having people worried about you, and if he was determined enough, Sans, although well-meaning, could put you out of helping him.</p><p> </p><p>So you lied. You lied right through your teeth.</p><p> </p><p>“Nope! Nothing I can’t deal with. Not to belittle your pain, but I’ve had worse.”</p><p> </p><p>That sentence slipped out before you could even think. Great. Well fucking done. You’ve just dug yourself into a deeper rabbit hole.</p><p> </p><p>“YES, I SAW THAT YESTERDAY....”</p><p> </p><p>Oh yeah. That. You almost forgot about it. Even thinking about it caused you to wince in pain.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing to worry about, I’m okay now! I’m right here to help you both!”</p><p> </p><p>You plastered on a forced smile, steadied and solidified the wall you had against your emotions, and quickly changed the subject before anything else could be brought up.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll show you the things I got you. See, here there’s a Rubix Cube puzzle, I’m sure you’ve heard of them, but I’ve heard this ones impossible. You’ve got to mix up the colours and blocks, and then you have to figure out how to shift them back together, see? I’ve heard it’s really difficult, and it sounds easier than it is.”</p><p> </p><p>You handed off each item you got to Sans after explaining everything. A quick check-up on his mental health, his stats, a quick check of Papyrus’ (87 out of 680.....getting worse...), and you left.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna go chat to Tracy, and maybe we can move you two into a nicer room! I’ll try my best, I know this room is super depressing and bland.”</p><p> </p><p>Unbeknownst to you, you left that room with newfound respect and adoration from Papyrus and Sans, respectively.</p><p> </p><p>Papyrus secretly was admiring you for how caring you were at your own expense. He admired how you bought those puzzles for his brother, out of your own pocket. He saw and understood that you were hiding the true amount of pain you were in, but the forced wall you put up around yourself prevented any clue as to what it might be. He’d never admit to thinking these things, though. Not yet.</p><p> </p><p>Sans adored you for how kind you were. You were so kind to him, much kinder than all the other mages. You were so friendly, even with all of the pain you were obviously in, even with how obviously sad your life was, you continued to remain kind. You got up, and continued to be kind. And getting those puzzles for him? That was amazing! No mage had ever given him anything before! It was so incredibly thoughtful!</p><p> </p><p>You were slowly growing on the brothers, whether they liked it or not.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, Chapter 5 is up! </p><p>I’m aware that I kind of died, but I have a very good reason for that. Had a few family issues, issues with the internet. Basically, I have to be sneakier in writing this. I used to write at 3 am (and I still do— best creative time for me), but now I have to steal downstairs and fix the WiFi if I want to post..... livin’ the crime life here, baby!</p><p>I’ll never die for more than a week without telling you guys, so don’t worry.</p><p>Again, please tell me if you’d prefer gender-neutral pronouns. I myself am non-binary, but I don’t mind relating through female pronouns. Just tell me what y’all think.</p><p>Stay classy, my friends!</p><p>-N</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Everything’s the same except it’s a different room now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You turned heel swiftly along the familiar corridors of the hospital. You always found the crisp white walls to be cold and distant. It was an unpleasant, unwelcoming place, chock-full of old machinery and delicate people. The aura of death was everywhere, like with every hospital.</p><p> </p><p>You didn’t like working there. It could get overwhelming for you and your magical senses, to be surrounded with so much negativity. Hence why you usually worked the frontlines, in the ambulance. </p><p> </p><p>But you were willing to toughen up and deal with it for the brothers. You didn’t know them too well, but you aimed to please everyone, and they seemed to be very kind people. Your magic senses never told you wrong, and you could often feel if someone was bad just by standing in their vicinity. But the brothers, even just standing in the room could put you in a good mood. Sans’ positivity and Papyrus’ protectiveness over his brother made you feel safer than anywhere else.</p><p> </p><p>You rounded the corner where Tracy’s office was, and prepared for a long talk. A very long talk. It was going to be exhausting. Tracy herself was an exhausting person to be around, and with the amount of arguments and self-centred orders she was going to throw about, it would be a tough one to convince her.</p><p> </p><p>You knocked politely on the door, and stood patiently. You reminded yourself that she was a healer too, and could also feel emotions, so you strengthened your resolve to appear more convincing. Technically it wasn’t psychology, but maybe it was a little bit manipulative. Anything to help the brothers.</p><p> </p><p>You began filling yourself with confidence, almost full to the brim. It was a strange and hard thing to do, to feel emotions that have no cause. You had mastered it by that point, all except for happiness, but unfortunately that required reserves of serotonin that you did not have the facilities for. Once you felt confident enough, you shook in a little bit of desperation (to appeal to Tracy’s ‘I’m doing you a favour, you owe me’ outlook), and plastered on your most convincing friendly smile.</p><p> </p><p>The door opened briskly, and standing in the doorway was none other than Tracy herself, a bored, faintly disgusted look in her eye.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want, (Y/N)?”</p><p> </p><p>“I trust you got the note I left earlier?”</p><p> </p><p>“I did. Spit it out, what do you want?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I thought that, since the two monsters I am treating are in a one-person room, and that their treatment is mental-health based, they should be moved to a different room. They’re still in the ICU and the nurses haven’t moved them elsewhere.”</p><p> </p><p>“The ICU has the only beds free.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, no! Since they don’t actually need medical equipment, besides the small stuff that I carry on me, they can be moved into the unused recovery ward on the top floor!”</p><p> </p><p>Tracy continued just standing in the doorway. For a split-second, you could see jealousy on her face, but it was for so short it might as well have been a trick of the mind.</p><p> </p><p>“Hmmm. Why do you care so much about moving them, and working with them? There are plenty of nurses around, and you should be in paramedics right now.”</p><p> </p><p>Okay, so Tracy wasn’t too bad right now. Better take that chance while you have it.</p><p> </p><p>“I want to finish my treatment with them, since I started it. It was a hate act. Terrorism designed to traumatise. I hate racism, you know that. Plus, if a higher-power mage works with them, they might actually be the first terrorist act survivors!”</p><p> </p><p>Tracy’s eyes widened in surprise, mouth making a small ‘o’.</p><p> </p><p>“It was a terrorist act?”</p><p> </p><p>“This hospital has the actual worst filing system. Yes it was a terrorist act!”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, if there’s a chance of them recovering, we’ll get you as much as we can! We’ll get a nicer room, we can give you more funding to buy things, nicer food! They must survive, then you and I will be known as the first healers to heal such trauma! Yes, my name will be in newspapers, we can get more funding!”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, Tracy, I don’t think you’ll be treating them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I will. Why wouldn’t I?”</p><p> </p><p>“I did what they told us not to in training. I took the trauma myself.”</p><p> </p><p>Tracy went silent. Her eyes stared blankly in your vague direction, then averted to the floor. She took a step backwards into her office.</p><p> </p><p>“Very well then. I’ll get you the funding and the room. But this is stupid, you hear me? We can’t lose more healers! And taking someone else’s pain has never ended well, you know that! Not one healer has survived!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll take a twelve hour shift every day. I’ve already helped one. Might as well help the other.”</p><p> </p><p>Your smile shifted into a grimace.</p><p> </p><p>“Tracy, you and I both have known for a while that I was on my way out. Might as well do something big before I go.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“......alright, fine! I’ll get the funding and the room. Now, shoo off. I’ll get them moved later today, probably about two hours.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you so much!”</p><p> </p><p>You stepped off quickly, as far away from Tracy’s office as possible. She just reminded you of something you were pointedly avoiding. </p><p> </p><p>There was a good chance that you wouldn’t survive treating them.</p><p> </p><p>Well, no. Your body would survive. That’s not the point. You wouldn’t survive. You, your being itself. You already had so many problems, from the scars on your skin to the scars in your mind. You’d completely lose yourself, and you wouldn’t be able to function as a healer anymore. You wouldn’t be able to heal people. </p><p> </p><p>And that would break you completely.</p><p> </p><p>You hadn’t noticed that you arrived at their door already. Checking a clock on the wall, you saw that almost an hour had passed. No, no, that’s impossible! Your chat with Tracy wasn’t that long...... which meant you were wandering around the hospital again. </p><p> </p><p>You opened the door to find Papyrus snoozing, and Sans absolutely engrossed in the  Rubix Cube. Neither looked up when you entered.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright! I have managed to get you into a nicer room, upstairs and away from everybody. It’s got three beds and a bathroom, because I’ll be staying for twelve hour surveillance. We’ll have so much fun!”</p><p> </p><p>A sarcastic “yay” came from Papyrus, and Sans looked up like he had only just heard you.</p><p> </p><p>“OH, HEALER! YOU’RE BACK! HOW DID IT GO?”</p><p> </p><p>You smiled gently. It was nice, you usually didn’t find the energy to be patient and smile softly anymore, but Sans seemed to bring it out of you.</p><p> </p><p>“I managed to get a nicer room for you upstairs, away from everything. It’s got three beds and a bathroom, and I’ll be staying with you for most of the day.”</p><p> </p><p>“YOU’RE GOING TO STAY FOR SO LONG!?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yup! Sometimes I might even stay for the night.”</p><p> </p><p>“WOWIE! IT WILL BE JUST LIKE A SLEEPOVER!”</p><p> </p><p>You laughed lightly at that.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure! If I get the money, I could even buy a DVD player and some movies. I’ve also managed to secure some better food, which is nice!”</p><p> </p><p>“I WAS GETTING RATHER TIRED OF THE HOSPITAL MUSH THEY WERE GIVING US.”</p><p> </p><p>You walked over to the open window, and took a moment to look outside. The roads were busy with traffic, people and monsters wandering the sidewalk, shopping in the high-end shops. You missed the days when you could shop like that.</p><p> </p><p>“So, uh, I’m going to go out and get some lunch, I’m actually really hungry. You guys want anything?”</p><p> </p><p>“OH! HUMAN! COULD YOU PLEASE BUY TACOS? I HAVEN’T HAD THEM IN THE LONGEST TIME, AND I TRULY DO MISS THEM!”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure. Papyrus, would you like anything nice for lunch?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll have some tacos too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay! I’ll get tacos for myself as well, and we can all have tacos together!”</p><p> </p><p>“BRILLIANT IDEA, HEALER!”</p><p> </p><p>Papyrus was cringing internally. A lot. And he wasn’t sure if he trusted the food the healer would bring back. But he couldn’t just refuse, as his brother would wonder and start asking questions, and then the conflicting emotions broiling in his mind would have to be addressed.</p><p> </p><p>Again. Nope. Not thinking about those feelings. Nuh-uh.</p><p> </p><p>You were grinning at Sans’ happiness, which sent pleasant waves of joy through your system. Since when had you let your guard down so much? Since when were your feelings so influenced by others? Your self-preservation instincts awoke once more, and you sub-consciously reinforced the barrier around you.</p><p> </p><p>Once more, you checked their stats (Papyrus was at 82 now, out of 680. You needed to do something, fast!), confirmed that they could live without any emergencies for the next hour or so, and left the room with a quick;</p><p> </p><p>“See ya! I’ll be back in about twenty minutes!”</p><p> </p><p>Your ankles were practically screaming at you for how quickly you were walking and turning down the hallways. After a quick assessment of a resident’s patient (they were only just getting the hang of it), you fled out to the food chain operating inn the hospital.</p><p> </p><p>The cheery logo (a dog monster with a sharp-toothed grin) greeted you, and you were surrounded by humans and monsters alike, feasting on the high-quality food. It was a food chain, yes, but they put effort into their food. Hence why it was so expensive, and why the hospital did not feed their patients with this food. It served as an alternative option for some of the longer-stay patients who had money.</p><p> </p><p>This little restaurant could pretty much cook up anything you desired. With Fire Elementals, Spider monsters, and skilled human cooks, the food was guaranteed to be much better. Each member of staff was picked out specifically for the qualities of their race, and their skillset. You didn’t really bother much with capitalism theories, but you knew, and the governments enforced, “everybody working together, as a team, to make life better”. Which would be a great idea, if they didn’t constantly run out of funding, specifically for the mage-operated areas.</p><p> </p><p>You stood in line and fished out quite a good chunk of money from your wallet. You could live without lunch or breakfast for a week or two, no big deal. Or you could just eat the hospital food, considering you were going to receive better food now.</p><p> </p><p>You were given a few strange looks, probably from the fact that you were a) wearing scrubs b) had a healer’s mark on you, and c) the brand on your temple. Oh yeah, the healer’s mark! You constantly forgot about it. It was a mark on your neck, shaped like  a monster and human SOUL conjoined. Each mage had this exact same mark, in the specific colour of their skillset and SOUL. Obviously, yours was a sickly green, that may have once been brilliant emerald. You were used to being stared at, so you either ignored it, or met their eyes and smiled. They dud not always take kindly to the latter, so you usually did the former.</p><p> </p><p>Once you made it to the register, you ordered three standard tacos to take out, paid the money, grabbed a small handful of napkins, and waited.</p><p> </p><p>A good ten minutes of waiting, and your order was rung up. Packaged neatly in paper, in a paper bag, with lemon-scented napkin wipes to accompany them. Wow. When was the last time you saw a lemon-scented napkin?</p><p> </p><p>About five minutes later, and you were back in Room 113, standing at the table and unpacking the food.</p><p> </p><p>“WOWIE! THANK YOU VERY MUCH, HEALER!”</p><p> </p><p>“It was no problem at all.”</p><p> </p><p>You were smiling, and handed a wrapped taco to Sans. Sans, with a gracious bow and a toothy grin (holy hell those were some chompers! you didn’t know skeleton monsters had such sharp canines!), accepted it.</p><p> </p><p>You handed one to Papyrus with the same smile. He, for some reason, refused to meet your eyes.</p><p> </p><p>A small “thanks.” was mumbled from him, and you turned back and began to dig into your own food.</p><p> </p><p>Idle conversation was made during eating, and you made sure to direct most of the questions towards the brothers. You asked about their occupations, their home life, where they lived, favourite TV shows, anything to pass the time. When a question was shot your way, you answered somewhat vaguely, as to not show that you actually didn’t remember the last time you did those things.</p><p> </p><p>“WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW, HEALER?” </p><p> </p><p>Sans had asked at some point, and you had to catch yourself, so as to not say anything stupid. You hadn’t had a TV in years, never mind watched a show. When was ‘before’, when you lived a normal life? Your guess was about seven years, maybe more, but definitely less than ten.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, uh, I don’t actually have a TV.”</p><p> </p><p>“YOU DON’T? HOW DO YOU WATCH THE NEWS? OR TV SHOWS? NAPSTABTON HAS A VERY GOOD SERIES OUT RIGHT NOW!”</p><p> </p><p>“I.... don’t watch the news. I read the newspaper when I’m shopping.”</p><p> </p><p>All these questions you asked, and the brothers (namely Sans) in return had you painfully aware of how mind-numbingly boring your life was. Your only hobbies were writing and drawing. You had a fascination with plants. You liked to read. And that was it. Nothing else. You didn’t have much time to do your hobbies, as you only had the weekends off, so you’d sketch little doodles, or write snippets of passing conversations between your characters on your clipboard while you worked.</p><p> </p><p>Papyrus was staying uncomfortably quiet. Usually, you’d noticed, he’d spend his time glaring at you, or contributed with a sharp remark, but right now, there was nothing.</p><p> </p><p>“Papyrus, are you feeling alright?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh....y-yep. M’peachy keen.”</p><p> </p><p>You’d never seen Papyrus stutter before, but you didn’t know him all too well, so you brushed it off. Recently you were brushing a lot of things off, chalking them up to something else. But you were going to ignore that for now. Deal with it later.</p><p> </p><p>Not too long after your food was finished, a nurse came to tell you that you were to transfer the skeletons to the top floor, Room 704, and handed you the keys. No wheelchairs, no help, just you transferring the brothers, and the keys.</p><p> </p><p>A little bit of searching in the hallways, and you found two wheelchairs to wheel your patients around. Life as a multi-tasking healer, where you had to cover a lot of shifts taught you many things, among those, how to manoeuvre two wheelchairs in one hand, and have the other hand free. Simply something you had to learn how to do.</p><p> </p><p>Your arrival with the wheelchairs sent confusion through the room, but you insisted upon it. While Papyrus flat-our refused at first, much persuasion from Sans got him to get up and relent.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You’d never noticed how bloody tall Papyrus was until now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>While little Sans sat in the wheelchair with his little legs dangling a bit, with a height of what you guessed to be about four and a half feet, Papyrus had to contort himself a bit awkwardly. It didn’t look uncomfortable, but it was strange. His knees were bent too much, and his head stuck up way too far. If you bent your knees a tiny bit, you could stare at him, eye-to-eye, while he was in the wheelchair. He must have been something like seven feet tall!</p><p> </p><p>With one handle from each wheelchair nestled in a single hand, you made sure everything was removed from the room before you left, including the flowers. You had Papyrus hold those. Papyrus became strangely enamoured with them, stroking their soft petals and gazing at them in wonder, but you didn’t bother ask. Sans was much too happy to hold his bag of puzzles, gleaming smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>You wheeled the two out of the room, as swiftly and carefully as you could, so as to not jostle the skeletons. You twisted around corners, dodged other healers and nurses expertly, and weaved through the hospital’s complicated layout before making it to an elevator.</p><p> </p><p>The brothers didn’t speak a word during the journey, they either observed the hospital world go by in fascination, or stared at the orange flowers in their lap. Whatever works.</p><p> </p><p>Once everyone was inside, you punched a button that was obviously often unused. The button to the very top floor. It was completely empty, and the rooms did not have any medical equipment, so they weren’t used. Most of the patients in this hospital were humans or monsters needing medical help, not trauma help.</p><p> </p><p>Ah, an empty hospital floor, just for you and the skeleton brothers. It would be quieter, and it wouldn’t reek so much of death and sickness. A dream.</p><p> </p><p>A short ride up the elevator shaft, and the soft ‘ding’ of the bell alerted you. You wheeled the brothers out, looking out for the numbers on the doors. Once you found Room 704, you unlocked the door, and wheeled the brothers in.</p><p> </p><p>You’d never seen this floor of the hospital before, and the sheer size of the room shocked you. It was easily as large as your apartment, and resembled a comfortable hotel room more than a hospital room. It had large windows, which let in a lot of light, thick grey curtains, three very comfortable-looking beds with soft grey bedding, a large wooden table in the corner with three chairs, and a white door that you assumed led to the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>Oh yeah. This was definitely the dream.</p><p> </p><p>“WOWIE! PAPYRUS, HEALER! THIS ROOM IS SO MUCH BETTER! MWEHEHE!”</p><p> </p><p>You brought them over to their beds (you’d sleep closest to the door, whenever you’d stay), and let them get out and get settled in as you left the room to leave the wheelchairs outside.</p><p> </p><p>Once back inside, you began chatting again. Papyrus, although joining the conversation at intervals, was still acting strange, even for him. He was stuttering, not that much, but he was still stuttering. Whenever you smiled, as gently as you could, you swore that a light orange dusting overcame his cheekbones, but you ignored it. You’d never worked in close quarters with the famous skeleton monsters, so you didn’t know how they acted. Sans acted the exact same, so for all you knew, that was how they all acted.</p><p> </p><p>Then you actually remembered something very important.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you guys have any family members that need to be notified? Or friends?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nah. We don’t have much in the way of family, and I already texted our friends. They said they’d visit in a couple of days.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh! That’s lovely. Who are your friends?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mainly the skeleton brothers of the Fell Clan, the Under Clan and the Swapfell Clan.”</p><p> </p><p>Two of those names rang too many bells. The Fell and Swapfell monsters. The specific monsters your troops fought in the war. They were fearsome monsters, who slashed and killed brutally, without question. Perhaps they’ve changed since then, but you were going to have to be very, very careful around them.</p><p> </p><p>“HEALER, ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOU’VE GONE A BIT PALE.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, yep, I’m good!”</p><p> </p><p>“What was it about, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“W-what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ya remembered somethin’. Somethin’ bad. What was it?”</p><p> </p><p>“I, uhhh. The Fell and Swapfell Clans, I sort of..... fought them in the war? Well, no, I didn’t ‘fight’ them.... more like they fought me.... And I also, sort of, may have seen some of my friends killed by them. I think. I can’t really remember.”</p><p> </p><p>You, for some reason, spit out the truth. Yes, you were hurting, and yes, you were getting lost in a torrent of emotions that you couldn’t remember the source of. You honestly couldn’t remember a lot of the war, or what was before it. It must have been very traumatic. You were often overtaken with anxiety attacks or emotion attacks for seemingly no reason. The only memories you had were revealed to you through flashbacks, but they were like a rude, extremely painful slap to the face, which was not ideal.</p><p> </p><p>But you spoke the truth for some reason. We’re beginning to get comfortable around them? Maybe a bit too comfortable.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh...!”</p><p> </p><p>Neither of the brothers were expecting such a frank answer from you.</p><p> </p><p>“WELL, HEALER, I CAN ASSURE YOU THEY HARBOUR NO ILL INTENT TOWARDS HUMANS NOW!”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Sans. Oh! Do you guys have any possessions you need here, like clothes, toothbrushes, things like that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yep. Gettin’ the Fells to bring ‘em over.”</p><p> </p><p>You almost flinched at the name again, but you restrained yourself.</p><p> </p><p>“Great! Could you also ask them to bring any really personal or comforting things, like stuffed toys or blankets? They’ll help you guys get better, and it’s nice to have something familiar with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure.”</p><p> </p><p>Papyrus pulled out his phone and began tapping away at it absent-mindedly, while you chatted and laughed with Sans, solving puzzles together. All the time, you checked each skeleton’s aura, and whether they were feeling any bad thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>Sans, the darling, wore his heart on his sleeve, and it was obvious when he was in pain, so you, like the good healer you were, you’d bring your hands to his temples and fill his head with happy thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>Filling all these other people with happiness, it made sense why you had none left for yourself. You were giving it all away to others.</p><p> </p><p>Sans couldn’t explain why he felt so incredibly safe and comfortable around you. His SOUL rushed about in his chest whenever you’d sit on the bed with him, and hold his head in your hands. He felt so safe, and so happy. You seemed like a magnificent human, and with such a magnificent human, it was only natural that they and the Magnificent Sans would become best of friends!</p><p> </p><p>Every so often, Papyrus stole glances at you, observing how you entertained his brother, how you solved puzzles with him, how you smiled a certain way when Sans said something cute. A small pang of jealousy scratched at him whenever you smiled like that, but, again, he wasn’t going to confront these feelings. Not now, not ever.</p><p> </p><p>You just thought that the brothers were wonderful people. Sans was amazing company, and you had so much fun exploring his hobbies with him. Papyrus, although his personality was concealed to you, brought an air of protection to the room. You could already tell that, although uncovering Papyrus was going to be a bit of a mission, it would definitely be worth it. </p><p> </p><p>The three of you could tell you were going to enjoy it here, and while Papyrus, ever-tired, still continually refused to acknowledge anything, you and Sans knew you were going to have so much fun together!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alright! Chapter 6 is up!</p><p> </p><p>This chapter is quite a bit longer than my usual ones, but they’re probably only going to get longer. I’m inconsistent like that. I’ve gotten a nice writing rhythm going, where I write for about 2 hours before going to bed. Which means that there will pretty much be a new chapter posted every other day (except for when I don’t feel like writing xD)<br/> </p><p>I really tried to put a lot of my own world building and little hints of backstory throughout, as well as foreshadowing. There’s definitely more than twenty of those, but they’re tiny. Hoping to slightly use psychology on you guys.</p><p> </p><p>I’m really unsure as to whether I’m writing love correctly. I’ve never really written it before, and I can’t actually look at my writing and tell whether it’s good, because I’ve been staring at it for too long. Oh well.</p><p> </p><p>There are some big things planned for the future, and don’t worry! No matter how dark and depressing this fic gets, there will always be *sing-song voice* ROOOOMAAANCE!</p><p> </p><p>Also, there will be a lot of song references. Especially in the future. I’ll tell you when there is one, and maybe you can spot it.</p><p> </p><p>Really hope you guys enjoyed, and have a wonderful day!</p><p>Stay classy!</p><p>-N</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Learning is good for serotonin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Days when you worked in the hospital were slowly becoming your favourite time of week.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You used to just show up, and do the work, not because you wanted to, but because you had to. It was your ‘service’ to the country as a person with ‘magical abilities’.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Now, you enjoyed coming to work at the hospital as much as you could enjoy something. You were still exhausted from taking Sans’ trauma, but you were on the way out anyway, so you didn’t particularly care. You were enjoying it mainly because of the fact that you didn’t have to deal with your coworkers or rowdy patients who refused to be treated by you. Now, you could just relax, treat the brothers as best as you could in this environment, and possibly strike up a friendship.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Although that wouldn’t matter in the end. You wanted to get out of this country, when you still had hope. Alas, you knew you weren’t going to last this, so that went out the window. Might as well enjoy your last couple of weeks of being (relatively) happy, right?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The two brothers never failed to brighten up your day. From treating them and talking to them, you learned quite the bit about their personalities.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sans was more endearing and charismatic than his brother, in the way a clumsy puppy is charismatic. He, like his true inner child, was extremely curious and would constantly ask questions, about pretty much everything. You would have thought the questions would annoy you, but they didn’t. Sans was old enough to phrase the questions right, and mature enough to realise where the line was. You found his desire to learn admirable. You didn’t see him as a child...... more like somebody who was still unspoiled, and had so much to learn. You were more than happy to teach him the humans ways and customs, and everything you knew.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Well, all of that only happened during his good times. He still had quite a way to go in terms of healing, and would often fall into the pit that is residues of the trauma. He would go completely silent, and stare at something. Any conversation he had then was half-hearted. You could tell he was reliving earlier pain, to some extent. You could tell it hurt him, a lot. You’d try your best to cheer him up a little, but he had to make it through the pain himself. He’d never get over it otherwise, and possibly lose a chunk of his memories. You were only there to take the worst of it away, and to support him as he was healing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“HEALER, WHAT IS THAT AROUND YOUR NECK?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sans was avidly staring at something slung over the back of your neck, with his huge, too-blue-to-be-real eyes. Papyrus has gone out for a smoke. (You really needed to break that habit of his, but at least he was considerate enough not to do it here.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You hadn’t even noticed you had it on you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, this? I don’t even know why I carry it around anymore, haha. It’s a stethoscope, a little device I use to listen to a human’s heartbeat. You guys don’t have hearts though, so I don’t know why I carry it around. Probably a force of habit.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“THAT IS VERY INTERESTING! ALAS, I HAVE NEVER HEARD THE SOUND OF A HEART BEATING...”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sans deflated a little, and turned his eyes away towards the open window. You had an idea.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I’m a human, right? And I’ve got a heart. Would you like to listen to my heart beating?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“OOOH, YES PLEASE! THAT WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL, HEALER! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!”</p><p> </p><p>You wandered over to his bedside and sat down beside him. He, being a skeleton, had barely any weight, and you were hyper-aware of the fact that the mattress was sagging under yours.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wait, why was that bothering you? You were human, it was completely normal.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not the time for unpacking that now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You pulled the stethoscope off your neck and put the earpieces in. After a bit of rummaging around on your chest, you found your heartbeat. The steady thu-thump reminded you of how stupidly fragile your life was.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You handed the earpieces to Sans, who put them in his ear.... sockets? You weren’t sure of the correct medical term; after all, you were a healer, not a doctor. He was blushing a lovely blue hue, but you assumed it was from the strange closeness he had to maintain to your body. (And you weren’t entirely wrong)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You could pinpoint the exact moment Sans heard your heartbeat. You were beginning to learn what he was thinking by how his eyes were expressed. Right now, they were transfixed on the hand holding the drum to your chest, pupils turning into tiny blue pin-pricks. That usually was a bad sign, but they quickly blew wide to almost completely fill his eye sockets.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His eyes flickered to you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“W-WOWIE! IT SOUNDS SO STRANGE! LIKE SOMEONE PUMPING FROM THE INSIDE OF YOUR CHEST.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Haha, yeah. That’s pretty much what it is. It’s a pump, about the size of my fist, that moves blood around the body, to keep me alive. It has chambers as well, and it’s made of muscle. It looks really interesting!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“WAIT, IT KEEPS YOU ALIVE, YES? DO EXPLAIN!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, you see, we’re made up of cells, right? And these cells need food and oxygen. So the blood brings food that I digest and oxygen that I inhale to every single cell in my body, and then removes the waste they create. The brain takes up the most food and oxygen, about twenty-five percent of all supplies.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“DOES THAT MEAN..... IT’S THE ONLY THING KEEPING YOU ALIVE?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, kind of. I need other organs as well, like my lungs, brain, liver, skin. But yeah. If my heart fails, I die.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sans’ demeanour changed a little at that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“WOW..... I KNEW HUMANS WERE DELICATE..... BUT NOT THAT DELICATE! YOUR HEART IS KEEPING YOU ALIVE, AND IT IS SO SMALL!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Y-yeah, we’re pretty fragile. But hey, you know what’s really cool! Since my heart is a pump, and it moves about when it pumps, you can actually feel it beat!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“WAIT, REALLY! WOWIE! THAT’S FANTASTIC!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah! Wanna feel it?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“OH, YES PLEASE!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You grinned at Sans’ excitedness. It was refreshing, having someone so new and curious around.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, show me your hand.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He obediently stuck out his hand, and you took it in your own. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Woah..... that felt weird....... </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was colder than yours, and bonier (you internally cursed at yourself for using “bonier”, as if it wasn’t obvious). His phalanges were slightly sharp, and softly grazed your palm. You could feel each joint and rivulet. It vaguely reminded you of the skeleton models you had in your school when you were younger. It wasn’t a bad feeling....... it was surprisingly positive. It felt like it belonged there, in a strange, almost alien sort of way. Unable to stop yourself, you paused for a second.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wow, your hand feels strange....”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“AS DOES YOURS! IT IS SO SOFT AND WARM......AND SQUISHY!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You burst out laughing at that. He thought it was squishy? It was a hand! They weren’t that squishy! It did make sense to you, though, as his entire body was literal bone, so having a soft body would be strange.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s squishy? Hands aren’t even the squishiest part of the human body!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“THEY’RE NOT!? THERE ARE SQUISHIER PARTS? YOU MUST SHOW ME SOMETIME!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your dirty little sinner mind began to take a step towards unsavoury places, but you quickly stopped and reminded yourself that it would probably be the stomach, or the thighs. You weren’t going to let Sans grope you, geez!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Another time. Let’s feel my heartbeat.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You placed your own hand on your chest first, to locate the beating. Once you found it, you guided Sans’ hand over and placed it there, holding your own palm on top of his.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Multiple things happened to Sans in that moment.</p><p> </p><p>1. He began blushing, hard. He was so close to you, feeling the beating of the little heart that kept you alive!<br/>
2. His eyes blew up into stars.<br/>
3. He marvelled at the feeling of your heart against his bones.<br/>
4. He marvelled at the feeling of your palm against his hand.<br/>
5. He suddenly felt very protective over you. If the thing that’s keeping you alive was so delicate and close to the surface he could feel it with his hand, he needed to protect you!<br/>
6. He realised he wasn’t feeling exactly like a friend towards you. </p><p> </p><p>Sans was unsure of what the last one was exactly, but it wasn’t friendship. He couldn’t pinpoint it, to him it seemed more like a mess of intangible feelings. It hadn’t been long since he met you, and it hadn’t been long since he was moved up to the new room. He would have to ask Papyrus about it, as he couldn’t ask you, but he had to ask someone! Maybe the Fells, when they came over.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You were entertained by his reaction.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Cool, right? It’s weird thinking that something so important to keep me alive can be felt through the skin! It’s also super powerful, it can spray blood upwards to a height of...”</p><p> </p><p>Sans, although he really wanted to listen to you talk so passionately about human anatomy, zoned out. This one wasn’t like his “bad” zoning out, he zoned out because the cogs in his head were turning at breakneck speed. His mind was desperately trying to figure out why his body was reacting in strange ways. He was suddenly sweaty, and why was he so blushy around you? It seemed to him that whenever you got close to him, his face went on fire. His SOUL, although it didn’t beat like a regular heart, ached in strange ways. He really needed to mention this with you. What if it was a medical thing?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sans, are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your soft voice cut through the air, and Sans’ awareness returned. You were worried that he zoned out due to the trauma, but you weren’t feeling any negativity emanating from him, so you became confused.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sans stared at you a moment, shook his head as if to rid himself of thoughts, and grinned wider.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“YES, THE MAGNIFICENT SANS IS PERFECTLY FINE!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This, however, didn’t exactly quell your worry.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“YES, HEALER. THANK YOU.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Alright.” You weren’t going to push the subject further; if he said he was fine, you knew he didn’t want it pressed. You could respect that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But your healer mind was still concerned, so you had an idea.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sans, I’m going to stay the night today, is that alright?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sans’ eyesockets widened.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“REALLY? WOWZERS! THAT WOULD BE AMAZING!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Perfect! I’ll tell Papyrus when he gets back, and I’ll grab my overnight stuff from my locker.”</p><p> </p><p>You two spent the time until Papyrus came back solving puzzles together on his bed. You were greatly impressed at Sans’ puzzle-solving abilities. The Mensa Test was a piece of cake to him, and he had already solved the “impossible” Rubix cube three times. So much for entertaining him for a long time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sans, for one, enjoyed knowing something you didn’t. He enjoyed teaching you the ins-and-outs of puzzle solving, watching the fascinated gleam in your eye as he solved brain teaser after brain teaser. He thought it cute when you cheered once you found a way to open the strange box you got him, not having the heart to tell you that it was one of the easier ways to open it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You two were having fun, and while Sans continued solving brain teasers, you pricked up when Papyrus walked back in. He was slowly looking worse for wear, so you had to earn his trust, fast.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus was slightly surprised to be met with that sight. His brother awkwardly leaning over, engrossed in a puzzle, and you, sitting up, observing him with curious but tired eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“M’back.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He directed at his brother, who didn’t seem to notice. Well, so much for a warm welcome.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus pointedly ignored you and the minuscule pause of his SOUL at your words, and draped himself on his bed, settling in for a nap. He’d been doing that a lot lately. You knew that sleeping was a good way for monsters to recover some HoPe, so you let him nap as often as he liked, and tried your best not to disturb him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Occasionally Papyrus would start squirming and acting very distressed in his sleep, so you’d always wake him up from the nightmares. You knew what they were like, and couldn’t remember the last time you slept without one.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You were rather disappointed that he didn’t trust you enough to even let you ease his distress with your magic, but you’d have to work on it. Maybe soon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Personality-wise, you didn’t see much of Papyrus. He was sleepy, and while his contempt had simmered down to silent hate, he actually tolerated you, and sometimes even made conversation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Whatever conversation he had was always chock-ful of the worst puns imaginable. You didn’t know how he could do it. Was his mind just one massive storage for puns? He could conceivably make puns out of anything, and they were the ‘so-bad-they’re-good” type. They never failed to make you laugh and shake your head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Otherwise, Papyrus was rather quiet. He wasn’t as blushy or fidgety as his brother, but there was still the occasional orange dusting on his cheekbones. He was definitely very protective of his brother. All of his quietness and, frankly, brashness, concealed an intelligent mind. You had only seen glimpses of it, but it was definitely there. Papyrus knew more than anybody should, and had gone through more than he deserved. You could tell he’d seen the true cruelty of the world, and you assumed he made it his life’s mission to make his brother’s life the best it could be. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>While he didn’t succeed in making conversation as much as his brother, and he definitely wasn’t that charismatic, he knew one thing — puns. While he still didn’t trust you, you seemed honest enough for now. He never dropped his guard.... but for the sake of his brother, he’d act friendly.</p><p> </p><p>In reality, Papyrus secretly enjoyed making you laugh. He enjoyed watching your body heave under your chuckles, and had secret pride in making you laugh at how bad his puns were. All of this was so secret. Papyrus didn’t even know he was doing it himself. He liked to think that he wasn’t a monster governed by the pulls of his SOUL, but he couldn’t have been more wrong.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, uh, healer? The Fells are comin’ over tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You blanched at that, but put on a forced smile.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Great! Can’t wait to meet them. I’m staying over here tonight, but I’ll go home quickly, and grab a few things. I just remembered I don’t have everything in my locker.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That was a lie. You did have everything necessary in your locker. Toothbrush, soap, toothpaste, change of clothes, hairbrush, et cetera. But there was something else that you had to bring with you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You’d bring your sketchbook, notepad, and a small stuffed toy you had.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Some people would say that you were “childish” and “immature” for still sleeping with a plush toy, but you ignored them. It was a great comfort to you, and quelled many of the nightmares. You had it since you were a baby, and the trails of good memories associated with it were important to you. The sketchbook and notepad were for when you (inevitably) couldn’t get to sleep, to use as a way to calm your mind and prevent it from diving too deep into the abyss. As soon as your mind was left on it’s own, without distractions, it would begin spiralling, so you had to avoid that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sans fixed you with a look of concern, while Papyrus flashed cruel fangs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, the Fells. Nasty bunch, aren’t they?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus was convinced that yes, this was the part, this was his justification for hating you. Of course you were a monster-hater and a racist, of course! There was no way you were this good without some sort of catch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You know that I fought them in the war. Just...... bad memories, that’s all. Yeah, I’m a little scared of them, but I don’t hate them. The war was horrible, and unforgivable things were done by both sides.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The thing that was important about your experience with the war wasn’t the war itself. You had worked over that, and managed to dial down the PTSD a substantial amount. It was the memories of the government-mandated horrors you went through, and losing them. You’d have to try your best not to freak out and fall into a flashback when the Fells came.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Which you could do, but you’d have to remove your emotional wall, so you could have enough energy to flood yourself with positivity.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus was merely shocked that you didn’t respond with anything racist, and that you instead handled it calmly. It worried him. Where was the dark side of you? Where was the bad part? And how bad was it?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alrighty- Chapter 7 is up! I tried expanding the brother’s personalities a little, give a little *chef’s kiss* taste of what is to come. I think I accidentally changed my writing style, oops. It somehow became a lot fluffier than I intended it to, but we’re going to dive back into the mental trauma soon, just through that Reader deserved a bit of a break, y’know?</p><p> </p><p>I took a bit of a break to figure out exactly where to go with this, because if you’re anything like me, you start a book and you don’t even have a plot for it. Why am I like this.</p><p> </p><p>I’ve decided against gender-neutral pronouns because having female parts is necessary in one of the plot points in the future (don’t worry, it’s not smut.... unless y’all request it, then I could do some)</p><p> </p><p>Also, if you want the answer to how high a human hapeart can spray blood into the air, it’s 30ft. Impressive, right?</p><p> </p><p>Alright, I hope you guys enjoyed this!</p><p> </p><p>Stay classy!<br/>-N</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. A taste of what is to come</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A little while of friendly chatting was done before you popped to your apartment to pick up your “anti-sad” items. Just to keep you going for the next while, until Papyrus was healed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A brisk walk, swift motions, and you were back in the hospital, with loads of time before nightfall. You never actually had to clock in at the registers, because the whole place was so badly managed, but you did so anyway, to try and maintain some semblance of order.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Winding down the familiar hallways, you found yourself in the healers’ quarters. Well, ‘quarters’ was an understatement. It constituted of rows of old lockers and a mini kitchen. So much for actual functional facilities. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You grabbed your overnight stuff, not wanting to spend much time in there. It was cramped, smelly, and gave you a bad feeling, the culmination of too many depressed healer mages in one spot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>In no time, you found yourself back in the brother’s room, with Tracy in the doorway, chatting to them. She had a friendly facade on her, but you could tell the brothers saw right through it. She fixed you with a glare as you entered, but you shooed her out before she could utter an insult. It was easy to tire of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sparing a look out the window, you saw the sky was still a lovely blue, but the stars were beginning to show themselves. Ah, the stars. You’d always been fond of them. The only constant in your life, simply looking at them could calm you. The night sky was so beautiful, and instead of feeling small and useless, you felt wonder at how huge the universe was, and a strange comfort that, no matter what you did, good or bad, had any effect on the grand scale. You didn’t like to think about how helping the humans and monsters didn’t matter much, but you would comfort yourself by saying “it matters to them”. Helping other people was the only joy you had at this point; it was part of your nature, your very instinct, hard-wired into your brain from your very beginning. You were born to help people.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You left you stuff on your bed, idly chatting to yourself to fill the sudden silence that filled the room. .......silence.........? You spared a look at Sans, who was staring ahead blankly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Patiently, you went and sat next to him, and tried to get a better hold on what he was currently feeling. Anguish. Pain. Sadness. Desperation. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gently, you used your magic to guide him through it, lending him your strength when he struggled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once Sans had finished falling through the episode, he turned and blinked at you owlishly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“HEALER, YOU...... YOU REALLY HAVE SUCH A BAD LIFE?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sans’ upfront question threw you off, and you lost control of your emotional barrier for a split second. It simply... slipped from your grasp. This was bad, really bad. Monsters, being monsters, could feel emotions much more keenly than humans. True empathy. Even a slip of someone else’s negative emotion could send their HoPe down a couple of points. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Simultaneously, Sans and Papyrus flinched. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You struggled to pull yourself together, pull your magic back and solidify it into the barrier. Deep breaths to calm yourself.......... your magic felt like it was slipping through your fingers, like an eel covered in oil...... this must be what it feels like to be a “lost” mage.....</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>After much awkward manoeuvring, you managed to rein your magic in more comfortably and strengthen it into your familiar barrier.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You took a long, good look into Sans’ eyes. The horror and despair in them was enough to tell you he felt every single bit of that mishap. A glance at Papyrus confirmed he had the same experience.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Time to...... ignore that.... like it never happened.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Your mind struggled to fill in the gaps about what Sans had said......... pointless, half-formed thoughts floated in your head............ something at the tip of your tongue... a question.... life..?</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Me, a bad life? Hahaha, no! No! No, no.....”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You didn’t even sound convincing to yourself. This discussion was going to be avoided at all costs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“..healer......”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Your instincts snarled inside you, anger, grief, hurt rising like a tidal wave. Thank Asgore you had your barrier up. Your head jerked back to fix Papyrus with a glare. This time, you were the one displaying anger to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We don’t talk about mage lives...... okay?!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Your voice was much more venomous than intended, and Sans tensed up beside you. Papyrus, although you couldn’t feel his emotions, had a cautionary, yet almost curious gleam to his eyes. He put his hands up placatingly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“....geez, alright....”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You turned back to Sans, and shook the expression off your face. You didn’t have it in you to do much right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You ran a hand through your hair, and got off Sans’ bed. You needed a moment to regain your composure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m going to go take a shower..... I’ll be out soon. Knock if there’s anything urgent.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You grabbed your toiletries, your pajamas, and swiftly turned into the bathroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>As you locked the door, you heard quiet conversation being passed amongst the brothers, but you didn’t care. You really needed a shower to clear your mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You undressed and got into the shower, not even caring that the warm water hadn’t gotten up from the main boiler yet. The cold would clear your head. Aren’t cold showers supposed to stimulate the production of natural anti-depressants?</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You quickly washed yourself and your hair, towel-dried and brushed it, put on your pajamas, and re-entered the bedroom. The two brothers simply stared at you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>All the social interaction you had today was slowly taking its toll on you, so you just picked up your sketchbook and started sketching. The brothers were happy to do their own thing as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sans was concentrated over a puzzle, so you took the opportunity to observe and sketch him. You always monsters fascinating, and while you had a million burning questions you had to ask them, they would only be appropriate in a friendship, not in a work environment. You settled to drawing them, studying their physique and features, ruminating over the structures of their bodies, imagining what each function is. They were so different, yet so alike to humans. You weren’t the best of artists, and your art definitely couldn’t be framed, or sold for much, but it was a hobby you enjoyed, and so a hobby you would cling to. It didn’t matter; you loved doing it, and it calmed you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lightly pencilling the outline, then the details, you constantly glanced over at Sans, who, very conveniently, hadn’t moved much for about fifteen minutes. You added the finer details, the depressions in his skull, the ridges in his bones, the clothing he wore. You went over the more prominent features once again, before you began to add shading. Darker edges, you focussed on the way the faint bedroom lights glanced off his bones, the tone of the colours, the shadows the light cast.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You held your tattered sketchbook at an arm’s length, examining it from more of a distance. While not totally accurate, you were actually happy with this one. You grinned to yourself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly, you became aware of someone’s eyes creeping up your neck. You turned to find Papyrus, who was pretending to be engrossed in his phone. He’d been staring at you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The evening flowed along slowly, like a hazy summer dream. Each skeleton slowly readied himself for bed, and you all settled down to a comfortable silence, each relaxing in their own bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sans drifted off to sleep first, his gentle snores coming from the far side of the room. Papyrus closed his eyes and lay down, and although he could fool someone less skilled than you, you could feel his consciousness at the edge of your mind. If he didn’t want to sleep for now, that was fine. You’d have to make him sleep later on into the night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You dimmed the lights so only yours was emitting a gentle glow, and continued to busy yourself. You couldn’t fall asleep like a regular person, otherwise you’d have to face all your pain. You couldn’t settle between your notebook or sketch pad, so you flipped between both, sometimes writing little snippets of a book, sometimes practicing anatomy and doing small doodles. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You became restless, as usual, and paced around the room. You made sure to pad along silently, so as to not disturb the brothers too much. Although the bustle of the hospital could be heard even now, as it was the dead of night, your whole floor was silent, and the noise was distant. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>At around what you guessed to be two am, you still felt eyes on your back. You walked up to Papyrus’ bed, and crouched down to face the side he was turned on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Papyrus, please go to sleep. You need the rest. I’m going to sleep soon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The last bit was true, as you had exhausted yourself so much that it wouldn’t take much to zonk you out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Papyrus inhaled sharply, and merely grumbled and turned over. So much for sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You settled yourself under your covers, held your plus toy flush against you, and doodled aimlessly until you fell asleep from exhaustion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Like every night, the nightmares came. Sometimes, they weren’t so bad, but after taking Sans’ trauma, they were worse. You’d dream about the very trauma he was out through, his exact experience, his exact emotions. You could only hope that the short amount of sleep you’d get wouldn’t send you into REM sleep, into the dream world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You violently woke at around six am, the beginnings of a night terror quickly fading from your memory. You were gasping, every nerve ending in your body almost painfully alert, but thank heavens you hadn’t screamed. The brothers were still asleep, although Papyrus stirred and shuffled on the bed. He woke up just as you did. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Your mind routinely checked through what needed to be done for today. Check on the brothers, so a quick round on the second floor, canteen, food, visitors.....</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>...visitors.....</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Your SOUL and heart sunk in your chest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today the Fells were visiting your patients.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay! Chapter 8 is up! Quick thanks to all the people who gave kudos, it really means a lot!</p>
<p>Sorry I hadn’t posted for a while, I sort of forgot about this and I had a lot to deal with. Which is weird, cause writing is something I do to cope and relax, so I don’t know why I forgot it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I’m sorry this chapter’s really uneventful, I’m still teasing out the details about the next one, but it will be much better than this. We can’t have too much emotional trauma in one chapter :)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also, watched Hamilton on Disney+ yesterday, and holy heckers! Y’all should watch it if you have Disney+, the amount of effort—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But this isn’t the place for me to geek out about Hamilton xD</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As always, my friends, hope you enjoyed!</p>
<p>Stay classy!</p>
<p>-N</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Visits from bad memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Panic rose sharply in you.</p><p> </p><p>The Fells were coming today.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You’d have to take down your emotional barrier today.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You’d have to fight not to drown in your thoughts and flashbacks today.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You knew it was going to be difficult. A solid twenty minutes were going to have to be dedicated just to practice maintaining and controlling your emotions, so you wouldn’t harm anyone. At this point, you’ve been keeping so much to yourself, and covering so much up, they were explosive, overwhelming and extremely powerful.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With a groan, you pulled yourself out of bed, and, as usual, slid onto the floor. Gather your thoughts, get your shit done. Get it done.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You groggily stood up, and stumbled into the bathroom. A cold splash of water woke you up a bit more, and you quickly got yourself ready. Your healer scrubs were donned, hair tied back as best as you could, and you sleepily set off to get breakfast.</p><p> </p><p>Papyrus was alert and sitting up in bed when you got out of the bathroom. His eyes held a groggy, yet strangely alert look to them. Everything about his appearance screamed ‘sleepy’, from the messy nightshirt he wore, the crinkled sheets half-covering him, and the awkward pose he held as he rubbed his phalanges over one of his eye sockets. You stood there a moment, observing him. He yawned, the sound being unlike any yawn you heard before. It reminded you of a tiger yawning, if the tiger in question was kitten-sized and retained its adult properties. Needless to say, it was a strange mixture of powerful and cute.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m going out to get breakfast. Is there anything specific you or Sans would like?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus’ head took a moment to register what you said, and he answered in a sleep-heavy voice;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“....uh, sure. I’ll have some toast, with honey, please. My bro? He’ll probably like some pancakes, with blueberries an’ syrup.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Perfect! I’ll be back shortly.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your voice sounded much preppier and professional than you felt, but you were good at acting ok. You decided that there was no way in hell you were going to pay with your own money, and you were gonna go to Tracy to get a food card.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t long before you made it to Tracy’s office, retrieved a food card (she wasn’t there, so you just took one. She wouldn’t mind), and made it to the restaurant. You ordered the brother’s food, and once you got yourself a coffee, toast with butter and a banana, you waited, and made sure to stash the food card safely. You were still too groggy to really register what was really going on, but you knew you’d have your quick rounds to get done. No matter how much you wanted to, you had to be there when the Fells came. Unaccompanied visitors weren’t allowed in patient’s rooms, especially any Fell monsters. It wasn’t racism, they just found it difficult to let go of their more....... violent tendencies.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The food was ready, so you piled it all up on two trays in one hand, and with the skill of a circus performer, managed to get it all upstairs with no spills.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>By the time you got back, both of the brothers were awake and ready for the day. Sans was pacing around the room, talking to Papyrus, who was lounging on his bed. The small skeleton was obviously beginning to feel a little cramped. You needed to get them out for fresh air and a walk sometime.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“OH, HEALER, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE BREAKFAST!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You scarfed down your toast and banana, practically poured the hot coffee down your oesophagus (at which the brothers exchanged a glance), and began to ready yourself for your rounds. Gloves? Check. Stethoscope? Check. Patient records? You’d have to get them at the floor stations.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Papyrus, what time are the Fells going to come?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“around half one, I guess...”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Perfect.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If you finished your rounds quickly, that would give you about a fifteen minute window before they arrived, and you’d bring them upstairs to the brother’s room. It was shorter than you needed to fix your emotional state for now, but you’d have to deal with it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With a quick explanation to the brothers of what you were going to do, to call you if they need anything (your buzzer was still working, if you were correct), and telling them you’d be back with the Fells, you set off for your rounds.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You stopped at each floor, chatting to the patients quickly and taking their complaints. The stations at each floor were organised for once, which was very convenient. Most patient visits were uneventful, and there was the odd complaint and once-over, but you weren’t specialised in healing physical injuries, being a field paramedic, so you could hand the patients off to other healers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not once did your buzzer go off, which you were thankful for. You didn’t need any emergencies from other patients on your hands right now. Silently, you thanked Tracy for getting it all organised. Bratty as she may be, she was very organised, and got stuff done.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was five past one, your watch told you, just after you finished your rounds. Looks like having the stations organised really does make a big difference. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You booked it into a staff bathroom, one in a corner where you knew nobody would disturb you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The door shut behind you with a creaky ‘click’, and you faced yourself in the smudged mirror. Geez, you looked a wreck. The bags under your eyes looked like you could never sleep them off, permanently buried into your face. Stress wrinkles in between your eyebrows had formed from your....well, stress. Your bottom lip was charred and red, from worrying it so much. What a stupid thing that you couldn’t heal them yourself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not the time for this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You focused on dismantling your emotional barrier completely. You had designed it very well, and it held up (almost) perfectly, when you were concentrated. You even managed to get it to distinguish between positive and negative emotions, so it removed the majority of negative feelings from your mind, and allowed you to feel whenever a positive emotion managed to float your way. In your knowledge, no healer mage in history had ever done that before. You didn’t need any books, journalists, or press on your tail, so you kept it a secret. Although, now that you thought about the press, you realised that Tracy was going to organise them to come chat to her and you. You could already see it- “Powerful healer mage trains healer traitor to save lives- emotionally”. You’d have to watch out for those too.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You felt the last wisps of your barrier disintegrating, and everything hit you like a truck. You felt stronger, because your magic wasn’t being used on the barrier, but your feelings hit you like a torrent. Anxiety. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Numbness. Everything hit you at once, and it physically hurt your head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You were going to scream.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your hands tightly gripped your head, as if compressing your skull might help with your current pain. Tears, unprompted, fell down in hot, thick streams. Your face was twisting up. You could swear somebody had taken your innards, wrung them out, blended them, and replaced your lungs with them. You felt like you were for wining in your emotions. Every single little thing inside your screamed HELP!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Twisting and contorting inside you, your thoughts and feelings merged. Your emotions seemed to swallow you whole. You weren’t you any more, you were sadness, you were pain, you were fear. You’d just have to ride this out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your body, now beyond your control, slid down to the dirty ground, and curled up of it’s own accord. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You suddenly realised you weren’t feeling anything any more.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not the ground, not your clothes, not your skin, not your mind, not even your feelings. Not even you. You couldn’t feel yourself. You were beyond you, outside of your own body.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Crap. You couldn’t disassociate now! You had to deal with this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Slowly, almost agonisingly, you managed to become aware of yourself once more, and just let everything consume you. For Papyrus’ sake, you told yourself. Just save him, and then you can rest.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You couldn’t tell how long it was, and whether you passed out or not, but you were okay for now. Your feelings had bubbled down to a persistent ache at the back of your skull, but you could deal with this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pulling yourself up onto the sink, you checked your watch. Twenty minutes past. Ten minutes until the Fells came.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your reflection stared back at you, eyes red-rimmed and empty. You had to do this. You weren’t going to let yourself drown yet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This one was going to be difficult, pulling all your emotions in so you couldn’t hurt anyone. They were slippery, and even going near them caused adverse reactions in you. But you could take this on. It wasn’t that big a deal.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You practiced reining them in, holding them close to your SOUL. It hurt, just like you suspected it would, but you didn’t care. If it meant protecting everyone around you, then so be it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sharp throbbing from inside your mind plagued you, but you were pretty sure you managed to keep everything close to yourself. Good, good? This was progress!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You checked your watch. Nineteen minutes past. The time had flown by. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>SHIT! The Fells wouldn’t appreciate you being late!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You legged it out of the bathroom, down the twisting hallways, narrowly and expertly avoiding any collisions. You weren’t too far from the reception, you could probably make it in time—</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Turning the last corner, you found that, to your relief, they weren’t there yet. It was still nineteen minutes past. Took you about forty seconds to get there,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Just as you were catching your breath, the Fell brothers strode in, carrying suitcases. Fell Papyrus, confidently marching forward, with Fell Sans in tow. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They looked exactly as you remembered them. Each scar, sharp tooth, item of clothing. They were practically unscathed in the war.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your feelings writhed around in you, desperate to break free, to be felt. You wrangled with them a bit, fighting for your life not to fall into a flashback. Every single person in your general vicinity flinched and stepped away from you. You could do this. Keep it together, girl, keep it together. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You walked up to them, with the semi-confident stride of any doctor, and greeted them with a smile.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hello! I’ve heard you’re here to visit Swap Papyrus and Sans?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“YES, HUMAN. LEAD US TO THEIR ROOM, BRISKLY.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus’ voice carried similar undertones to your Papyrus’ voice, but it was slightly more nasally, and definitely more commanding and growl-y. A shiver jumped down your spine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Alright! Follow me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You forced your voice, with your last increment of will, to sound more confident and normal, like nothing was wrong, like you weren’t fighting not to fall into a flashback.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You walked along the corridors, Papyrus beside you and Sans behind the both of you. You couldn’t feel any anger or violent intentions in any of them, but you were still apprehensive. Sans, you felt, was observing you curiously, while Papyrus seemed more focussed on getting your patient’s gear safely to them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You got into an empty elevator, waited for them to get in, and pressed the button for the top floor.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sans, who came in last, stood uncomfortably close to you.</p><p> </p><p>“THIS HOSPITAL IS SUBPAR MY EXPECTATIONS.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus commented, very helpfully.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know. It’s underfunded and understaffed. I hate it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>At that, the taller brother (who you just noticed stood much taller than your Papyrus) turned towards you and fixed you with an intent, searching look, which only managed to look angry on him. You took a step back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus scrutinised you for a bit, while Sans continued standing there, silent.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“YOU LOOK FAMILIAR, HUMAN. DO I KNOW YOU FROM SOMEWHERE?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your feelings threatened to be felt at that comment. Bringing up the war was only worsening things for you, but you’d have to fight it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Uh... yeah, you do.” you admitted, exhaling, “I fought against you and your troops in the war.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus and Sans both fixed you with a quizzically shocked glance.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“AH, YES, I RECALL. THE ONLY ONE THAT GOT AWAY.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your SOUL lurched, and you suddenly felt nauseous. The ONLY one?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You went silent, but Papyrus, seemingly more empathetic now, leaned down and looked you straight in your eyes, which were threatening to burst with tears.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“THAT IS NOT TO SAY WHAT WE DID WAS NOT HORRIFYING. BOTH SIDES. I CONGRATULATE YOU ON SURVIVING.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Oh, so your Sans and Papyrus were right. They were redeemed. But this elevator ride couldn’t go any faster.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I agree. I mostly healed our mages, but I saw what my troop did. It was terrible..... and I’m glad it ended....”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus placed a huge, clawed hand on your shoulder.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I CAN RESPECT A FELLOW SOLDIER, NO MATTER HOW PATHETIC.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You became only more anxious at that gesture, but you could tell it intended to comfort, in a strange sort of way.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The elevator dinged, and you got out once the door opened, leading the way to your room.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“oh, they have a floor completely to themselves, huh?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sans finally said something, and some of your anxiety melted away. Maybe you could become friendly with them, and mend relationships, though you were on opposing sides in the war.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yep! This floor can’t be used for medical stuff, and not many patients survive mental trauma like that, so I got them moved up here.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wow, you were actually conversing properly? That was quite a feat, considering the searing throb in your head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“woah, not many people survive it? some powerful healer you are.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You were almost at the door, and conversation was flowing easier between the three of you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Powerful? Nah, I just know my way around the mind well. They were lucky I was on a double shift in the ambulance that day.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You knocked on the door to their room, to let them know you were coming in, and opened it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“HELLO, COUSINS!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“heya.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, Chapter 9 is up! I should be back to a (fairly) regular posting schedule, where I write for about 3 days, and post it on the third day.</p><p> </p><p>This one, although not that eventful, sorta shows what’s gonna happen. I’ve never written the Fell brothers before, but I think I did a good interpretation of them (if they had redeemed themselves). I could have gone the other way, and made them plain nasty, but I think our dear MC has suffered enough. Not all is bad in the world.</p><p> </p><p>Anyways, as a.ways, hope y’all enjoyed!</p><p> </p><p>Stay classy, my friends!</p><p> </p><p>-N</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Who knew pushing yourself past your limits was a bad idea?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Flashbacks, PTSD</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You were greeted by the brothers when you opened the door.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No matter how much of an influence you thought you had on them, they didn’t greet you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They greeted their cousins.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Auto-pilot took over you and ran some “basic manners”, letting your patient’s guests in first, bags in tow, before entering the room yourself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You were the lowest in order here. Remembering yourself, you hung your head respectfully low. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t speak unless spoken to. Don’t do it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You let your mind wander, while keeping one ear trained on your the brothers. Making sure.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They chatted idly, making easy conversation. You were a little surprised at how well they conversed, despite being so......... different. As long as (they don’t hurt you, they don’t fight you, oh god stop hurting me, oh god!) the brothers are happy and (relatively) well, it was none of your concern, right?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, you stood by the door, a respectful distance away from them. This was so awkward. Usually, when you had patients, the responsibility of their well-being was already written down to you. Now that they had visitors, you were stuck in a weird limbo between wanting to be part of the furniture, and taking charge in making sure everyone is healthy and safe.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your mind was trained on your own thoughts. You hadn’t even noticed how they were racing, threatening to go in a direction you didn’t want to go. You were fighting to keep them in, fighting to change the subject of your thoughts. You couldn’t get lost in a flashback, not now. It would be really nice if your mind decided to go into that disassociative state you were usually in, just so you could forget about this and move on. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Disassociation. Hah, you and all the other healers in the war had to do a lot of that, to keep themselves from going insane. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The war.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>All of the monsters in the room simultaneously flinched, and covered their heads. An onslaught of.... it couldn’t be figured out, but it was negative. Where was all of this pain coming from? Surely it had to be coming from somewhere. Where were all the people in so much pain? This hospital was awful.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Edge strode to the window, hands still on his head, to see where the people were. But it was empty. No people in sight. That affirmed it. The pain was coming from nearby, possibly on the floor below, as he recalled the mage telling him this floor was unoccupied aside from his cousins.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He fixed his eyes on the smaller of his cousins, to make sure this was not overwhelming him. It had to be dealt with, quickly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The pain didn’t seem to be having much of an adverse effect on Blue, thank Toriel. He was, however, shakily pointing at the mage, eye-lights quivering.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Oh.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>OH!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The mage was lost in a flashback..... right............</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wow, that really sends a pang of guilt through you, doesn’t it?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You were quivering, head in your hands. What hurt most was that you were completely silent. Not a hiccup, not a sob, not even a hitched breath. Your silence could only mean that......</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>......you’ve gotten used to having to hide your pain and pretend everything was okay.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Oh god, you weren’t actually going this way, were you?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Fells.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>OH GOD, PLEASE, NO, NOT THIS WAY, NOT NOW! WE CAN DO IT LATER, NOT N-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“HEALER, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You lifted your head to fix (your) Sans with a blank stare. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your..... chest was heaving....? Cheeks wet....</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Great. You made a fool of yourself, in front of the brothers, and in front of their visitors. You were supposed to keep this in, goddamnit! Why can’t you deal with everything like a normal person? No, you have to be weak and pathetic, unable to-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“healer. you didn’t answer the question.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus’ nasally voice cut through the discord of your mind. Thank the stars.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Me? Oh, uhm, I’m fine, Sans, thank you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You gave Sans one of your fake smiles. He returned it with his characteristic vigour.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Incredible. One of the worst performances you’ve ever done, and he didn’t seem to doubt it for a second.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus, on the other hand......</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks, took a deep breath, and sighed. You were numb now. Good news for you, as that would mean not feeling any emotions. And you didn’t want to go through that right now. It wasn’t going to be long before controlling your emotions wouldn’t work anymore, and everything would flood. That most certainly wasn’t going to be a pleasant experience, but you couldn’t hurt anyone. Not at any cost. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your slow senses finally caught up with you and mentally gave you a kick. They were still holding their heads, stupid! You hurt them, you idiot, you didn’t control your emotions long enough, and heat-blasted them with your pain. You, instead of showing and guiding them through the book of your life, your experiences and your emotions, metaphorically chucked that book straight into their faces. They probably got a good smack in the nosebridge from the spine as well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You couldn’t handle the stares you were being given. Wow, your feet sure looked interesting today, huh. And that lovely floor as well....</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry. Excuse me.”, you quickly mumbled out, and made a dash for the bathroom door.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alrighty! Chapter 10 is up and at em'! </p><p> </p><p>So sorry for the long wait, I had a lot of work to do because of me being unable to work during the pandemic. I hate backlog so much.</p><p>Also, it's most likely that chapters will be really slow now, because I am literally writing on a Kindle Paperwhite. Yeah, those really slow ones that you can only really read books on. "Experimental" browser indeed, this is so slow. At least AO3 is in a format this browser recognises. Why I'm using it is a long story, but I am, unfortunately a minor who still lives with their parents, who are quite strict and slowy strip away any media I have. But I really love writing, and I ove you guys, so I'm going to sacrifice my sleep, patience and sanity for this story and you guys.</p><p> </p><p>Sorry that the chapter is also much shorter than usual. Again, the Kindle thing. When I get back to school I can use my school iPad, so this is only a temporary solution.</p><p> </p><p>Welp, see y'all another day!</p><p> </p><p>-N</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Okay, I admit, not the best idea....</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: mild (ish?) gore</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You locked the bathroom door behind you, and heaved a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Undoing your barrier was the worst idea you’ve had in a while.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Stupid you! Why did you have to hurt them again! Maybe Sans didn’t receive much damage from that, but Papyrus! Oh, Papyrus must have been in huge pain, especially in his vulnerable state! You needed to check on him as soon as possible.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Okay, you’ve done something this stupid of this magnitude before. What do you do? Restore everything to the last point it worked, like some weird human computer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Stick up the barrier again, this isn’t going to work. But do it half-way, so you have some concentration left to wrangle the pain.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alright. Let’s do this. And make it snappy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You pulled as much of your magic as you could out of your SOUL. This, although it used to be never-ending, was now limited. Guess that’s another side effect of being mentally fucked over sideways half your life.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With whatever you could grab (your magic was getting more and more slippery by the day..... you’d have to heal Papyrus soon if you wanted to have enough left..), you focussed on manipulating it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You pulled the substance around in your mind, moulding and stretching it. Once you were satisfied with it’s consistency, you poured it into a bubble around you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Now it had it’s shape, time to focus on what it will do.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You concentrated on blocking out the world. Barriers work both ways, so if you can’t feel the world, the world can’t feel you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Okay, so you had it half-made. Everything you felt seemed to be covered in cotton, muffling it’s true intensity. This would work.</p><p> </p><p>Now, finally, calming yourself down.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Five things to see...... mirror. Clothes. Sink. Toilet. Shower.</p><p> </p><p>Four things to hear...... The Fells. Your breath. Your patients. The trundle of wheels downstairs.</p><p> </p><p>Three things to touch..... hair. Towel. Skin.</p><p> </p><p>Two things to smell..... soap. Antiseptic.</p><p> </p><p>One thing to taste....... leftover coffee.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You were confident you were grounded enough, and did your level best to try and not notice the hair you had pulled out without thinking.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You unlocked the door, mentally rehearsing what to say.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>All eyes fell upon you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry about that, lost control for a minute, made a few mistakes, no biggie. Is everyone okay?”</p><p> </p><p>The silence was almost deafening. How could you act normal after that?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your practiced eyes roved the persons in the room, giving each member a good once-over.</p><p> </p><p>The room was seemingly stubborn to remain silent.</p><p> </p><p>Papyrus was the only one clutching his head still.</p><p> </p><p>Take control, now. You hurt him, FIX IT!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mr. Fell Papyrus, would you mind checking Swap Papyrus’ stats please?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Begrudgingly, and with a scoff, he did so. It seemed to be that the same principles to reading your skeleton brothers applied. Fell-Papyrus’ eyes shrank.</p><p> </p><p>“46 out of 680...”, his voice came shakily. Unusual for him.</p><p> </p><p>Wait, 46!? SHIT! That’s more than 90% of his health gone!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Time to tighten your bootstraps, and get your hands dirty with some good old-fashioned, health-swapping healing.</p><p> </p><p>This could get violent. And it could end up badly. And you could end up in prison.</p><p> </p><p>Oh well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Your voice took on an authoritative tone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Everyone please stand as far away from myself and Papyrus as possible. This could get messy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Fell Monsters, surprisingly responsive to your tone (stupid.... they’re army veterans, of course they’ll respond if you sound like a general), backed into a corner and they pulled Sans protectively behind them. Your Sans was slightly taller than Fell Sans, so while Red tried to cover as much of him with his body, Sans’ forehead peeked above his head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ah, time to pull off your old gloves. Often, you even forgot you wore them. Reason being, you were extremely responsive to your environment. It protected you, and everyone else. Not many healers had to do it, but you just had this amazing streak of luck.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The snap of you hastily removing one caused Papyrus to flinch, so you slowed your movements, and approached his seat.</p><p> </p><p>The floor underneath you creaked audibly as you walked across.</p><p> </p><p>You slowly settled yourself in front of him, taking care not to touch anything with your single bare hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Papyrus?”</p><p> </p><p>Nothing.</p><p> </p><p>Patient responsive? Negative.</p><p> </p><p>Drastic action required.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You took a chunk out of your barrier now, to lend you the strength. Just keep it together for long enough, you’ll be fine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thankfully, it didn’t require much magic, this form of healing. It was the crudest form, and any healer could do it. HP swapping. Literally exchange or give away some of your own, and in return the receiving would survive. It’s how most of the healer mages in the war died; the other mages siphoned too much HP off them, and left them empty. The situation reminded you unpleasantly of leeches and vampires.</p><p> </p><p>One drawback of this healing?</p><p> </p><p>During the process of swapping with a monster, a human SOUL got confused due to the differing of races and refused the damage. The health wouldn’t immediately be transferred to your HP bar. It had to go somewhere, so the damage would end up on the healer’s body. It would show as physical wounds, and that, in turn, would lower your HP. That’s why it would get messy.</p><p> </p><p>You pulled out your pager. Thankfully, these were the newest nifty ones that worked multiple ways, so you called into it;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Healer needed, room 704. HP Exchange. Things are gonna get messy, so quick as you like.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You liked to pretend you knew what you were doing with that ridiculous thing, but in reality, you were saying random things and hoping for the best. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wrestling with whatever magic you could get, you placed your fingers on Papyrus’ quivering temples once your remaining glove was removed.</p><p> </p><p>You shot your magic into the area around his SOUL, feeling out for his stats. It didn’t take too long to find, thankfully. You’d done this so many times you’d lost count. You remembered each scar it left, though.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Truly, his stats were low. A tiny sliver on the very left of his HP bar. Very, very not good.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Welp. Let’s get this over with.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You pushed your magic into his health bar, probing for any reactions. Papyrus hissed. You kept pushing. It was almost like administering an injection, actually, if doctor and patient were connected.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Once you had your magic settled in his health bar, you set on finding your own. You hadn’t had the chance to look at it in a while, but it looked pretty battered. You used to be powerful, once; now it was at a measly 100/ 700. Could be worse, but at least you had a chunk to give away.</p><p> </p><p>You hissed a little as you pushed your magic into your health bar. This had to sit differently, than the one in Papyrus’, and it had to act like a weird tube.</p><p> </p><p>Once safely in, you set on using half of what was left to connect the magic in his health bar to yours. That was the easiest part; magic was always drawn to own magic, which is how monsters managed to exist.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alright, got a nice little connection going. Now, the pain. Deep breath. Let’s go.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What was left of your magic you used to force your own HP out, and into Papyrus’ health bar. This had to be done carefully; your magic had to be slowly extracted from his health bar as you filled it, to leave enough room for the HP to fit. While doing that, whatever you pulled out of his health bar had to be transferred to your own, to continue pushing it out. It was all a strange sort of loop, with your magic acting as a syringe, a tube, and a conduit at the same time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>All the while the injuries were being transferred to your own body.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>At first, it was only bruises blossoming across your arms, legs and face. Then it slowly became scratches, which evolved into deeper cuts that drew blood. Bruises became worse, a black eye for sure, and possibly a broken rib were what you were left with as you finished.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You couldn’t do any more. You felt your body weakening already, and to continue beyond this was risky. Hell, to continue beyond bruises is strongly discouraged, but you always had to top everything. Broken bones from this were considered extremely dangerous. Whoops.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Time to check Papyrus’ health. You managed to give away 68 of your HP to him. Not bad. Now he was at a healthier 114/ 680 HP. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You never checked your HP after endeavours like this, but you knew it was bad. All the physical pain, however, was nice reprieve from all the mental pain.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You removed all your magic from use, moulded it back into your barrier, and re-entered the world. You smacked your gloves back on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus, thankfully, was awake, and more alert than you ever saw him. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t last too long, and his trauma would continue siphoning away at his health.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You weren’t strong enough to ask Papyrus how he was, so you settled yourself on the floor. How nice and cool it was. And everything was surprisingly blurry.</p><p> </p><p>Your ears registered the door opening, and arms picking you up.</p><p> </p><p>Good. The other healer was here to fix you up.</p><p> </p><p>_________________________________</p><p> </p><p>The three skeletons stared in shock as the blood bloomed on the healer’s body. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her face was so calm. Her eyes were closed. She didn’t wince. Was she even in pain? She should be....</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Oh, she’s on the ground now. She’s not moving. Her blood’s pooling a little.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>At least Papyrus is awake.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sans was shaken at the sight of her blood. Wasn’t that what was supposed to be going through her heart and her body? Not onto the ground? He felt sick.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Papyrus, once he regained his mind, looked around wildly, before spotting the healer, on the ground at his feet, in a pool of her blood. Uh oh. Why did he suddenly feel squeamish?</p><p> </p><p>The Fell brothers had seen too much of this to be really bothered in the same way their cousins were right now. Their minds, however, were travelling a million miles back, remembering when they used to cause things like this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everything was quiet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Then another healer burst in, and took control.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thank the stars.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alright, so, I died. </p><p> </p><p>I’ve (sort of) found a way to do this now, but there’s still a high chance it will be very on-and-off. I really want to finish it though.</p><p> </p><p>You’ll probably notice the cues where I don’t know what I’m doing, but hey! All part of the writing process.</p><p> </p><p>Also, I started this chapter not knowing what was going to happen, and it somehow ended up with our dear reader having multiple injuries. I’m so mean to her.</p><p> </p><p>As always, hope you guys enjoyed! See ya next time!</p><p>-N</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! It would be very much appreciated if you left any comments/ criticism in the comments, so I can work on improving my writing and getting back in the groove :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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